Having Faith

Yesterday, one of my friends and fellow disciples in the ways of awkwardness and social unacceptability, Elisse, gave a Sunday School lesson in which she urged the congregation to reread and study their patriarchal blessings.  I read mine again yesterday after I got back from church.  There have always been three paragraphs in my blessing that have been the most interesting up to this point in my life.  One of these has largely been fulfilled (I hope), one is entirely in progress, and the third is clearly yet to be.  As I read my blessing yesterday, it hit me how truly prophetic and (apparently) sequential these things are.

Patriarchal Blessings are given to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by the Lord through ordained patriarchs and usually contain counsel and promised blessings to the individual based on his or her faithfulness.  Because of the personalized nature of these blessings, they should be considered sacred.  Members of the church are generally discouraged from reading their blessings out loud or sharing them with others outside of their immediate family.  In this post, I will share three short lines from my patriarchal blessing, which give only the most general idea of the content.  The vast majority of my blessing will not be shared.  I'm aware that this is very much the electronic equivalent of reading portions of my blessing out loud (in a public square), but I believe that the passages are short enough to maintain the personalization and sacredness of the blessing.  More importantly, I feel prompted by the Spirit to share these things as they appear below.

The three most interesting paragraphs of my blessing appear in order right in the middle of the blessing.  There are several short paragraphs before these three, and a few longer ones after these three, but the Lord put the most interesting parts to my life at this time right in the middle.

First, the part that I think and hope has largely been fulfilled:

"It is important to continue your education.  As you enter institutions of higher learning, you will be able to discern between right and wrong and cleave to the principles of truth."

 I say that I hope that this is mostly fulfill because I'm oh-so-close to getting my master's degree and, at this time, I don't plan on getting a third degree... ever.  If the Lord needs/wants me to get a Ph.D., I won't fight him on it, but I have basically no desire to do so of myself.

The part that's almost eerily prophetic is that it states that I will enter institutions of higher learning; plural.  At this point, I've studied for two different degrees at three different institutions and have, most of the time, had a spirit of discernment about me.  I have largely been able to discern truth from fallacy in what I've seen, heard, and been taught, and have been able to choose what is good.

Next, the part that I'm so in the middle of, it's slightly painful:

"The Lord knows the righteous desires of your heart.  You will be called to serve a mission to take the message of the gospel to many who have never had an opportunity to receive it."

When I went to get my patriarchal blessing in 2006, the patriarch asked me a few questions about myself so that he'd have a better idea of who I am and what my blessing should contain.  At some point, he asked me about my goals or aspirations for the future were... or something like that, I honestly don't remember the question or his response to it.  However, I do remember the Spirit actively engaging my vocal cortex to cause me to say, "I'd like to go on a mission."  The response to that statement came as the first sentence of the passage I shared above.  It didn't seem that profound at the time, but little did I know...

During the five, or so, years that I was called to not serve, I took that first sentence as a mild consolation that I would still be able to serve, probably later in life, as a senior missionary.  Since September or October, when I found out that I would, apparently, be able to serve in my youth, the entire process involved with having that first sentence in my blessing has blown my mind open so wide, you could fit a softball through it.  This has been a clear testimony to me of the omnipotence, omniscience, and infinite love of the Lord for me, on an individual level.  It's like the Lord walking out of an alley, taking off his tie, and saying "Like so," but on a much grander and more powerful scale.  (Don't worry if you don't catch that reference, but bonus points if you do.)

Finally, the part that remains unfulfilled:

"[T]he time will come in your life when you will desire to marry.  You will be lead to one of God's righteous daughters who is choice and has a testimony of the gospel."

I'm not honestly sure how the first sentence will manifest itself.  I mean, I've felt some desire to marry for a while, but it's almost like the Lord is saying, "No, you have not yet begun to feel a desire to marry!"  It kind of scares me... in possibly the least scary way imaginable.

The more profound portion of this statement is in the second sentence.  The Lord states, in no uncertain terms, that there is not only a woman for me, but that he will actively lead me to her when the time is right.  At times I've worried that there worried be a woman for me or that other things would get in the way, but the answer is pretty clearly, "Quit freaking out, dude, I got this," or probably something a little more eloquent.  If I will maintain faith, I can know that not only will there be a woman for me, but that the Lord will lead me to her in a way that will probably be about as obvious as an angel holding a blinking neon sign reading, "Pick This One!"

At various times in my life, I've had trouble cultivating and maintaining that faith to trust in the Lord.  Because I couldn't discern a clear path to the blessings based on the trends that I saw at the time, I didn't want to believe that they would be mine.  However, as I've continued to walk in the path that the Lord has set for me, I've watched the blessings unfold and become manifest in precisely the way that he assured me they would be.  He could see the end from the beginning, even though I could not.  At the moment, even though I cannot discern, in particular, how the Lord will bless me with an eternal marriage and family, he has assured me, in no uncertain terms, that he will provide me with the opportunity to receive such.  Unlike the me of old, I want to maintain faith and resolve to trust in the Lord and his goodness that he will provide the blessings that he has promised me.  I've doubted him before, but I'm going to do my best to not do it again.

2012

...it's been an interesting year.

If you told me on New Year's Eve 2011 that I'd be in the position in which I currently am, I would probably believe you, but only because the Spirit would have testified to me of the truth of it.  Some things were expected, like making some progress in my master's degree and finishing out my coursework.  Other things, like temples and missions, were much less expected.  This year was also my least active blagging year, particularly because grad school has imparted to me a spirit of procrastination and a strong desire to write no more than I really have to.  Here are some of the highlights of the last calendar year.

• Structural Dynamics - Oregon State brought in a new professor last winter and assigned him to teach the graduate-level structural dynamics course during the winter term.  It was terrible.  In addition to the assigned textbook for the course, the professor gave us another 1.5" binder's worth of notes.  No one finished the midterm or the final.  One of the assignments that the previous professor had assigned was incorporated into one of our homework assignments as Problem 3.
• Paris - This Spring, I was privileged to finally use the Passport I've had since 2009 and go to Paris, France.  It was awesome.

• Temple - Later in the Spring, my bishop realized that I hadn't taken out my own endowments, so he wrote me out a temple recommend.  When I made my previously-scheduled trip to Denver in the summer, I went through, and it was glorious.
• Mission - On the day of a return trip to the temple I felt a distinct prompting that I should try again to serve a mission.  I did the medical evaluation again.  I was cleared.  I'm planning to turn in papers in May, or so to leave in the Summer.  I've changed my official prediction to Houston, Texas East, speaking Spanish, with other probabilities including Philadelphia, PA; Lubbock, TX: and Québec, PQ.
• Last Class - This fall, I took my last formal class ever and received an A.  My final master's GPA will be 3.70.
• Research - It's been a constant struggle.

 Plans for 2013

• Research
• Thesis
• Graduation
• Plan A: Mission
• Plan B: Engineering Job
• Plan C: Taco Bell

Hooray 2013!

Inconvenient Truths

I've decided that I never want to run for political office.  In order to give myself proper incentive to this end, I've decided to post of list of what I consider to be politically incorrect truths that would be a nightmare to clean up if I did run. All potentially quantitative claims will be unsubstantiated inasmuch as I believe the data associated with such statistics to be unilaterally biased, one way or another.  Enjoy.

• On average, black men are more athletic than white men.  
• On average, white men are smarter than black men.
• Young black and/or Latino men are more likely to engage in criminal activity than others not meeting those three criteria.
• I don't care what your upbringing was like, if you engage in socially unacceptable behavior, you need to suffer the consequences.
• Prison should be hard work... with no healthcare.
• I'd bring back firing squads.
• Selective abortion is murder of the most innocent individuals by those whom he/she should be able trust most.
• Inasmuch as it's no more socially harmful than alcohol, marijuana should be legalized, subject to similar restrictions as alcohol, and have the piss taxed out of it.
• There's a special corner of Hell waiting for investment bankers.
• In our society, capital gains are often used as a sole source of income, and thus, should be taxed as income.
• "An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life." -Robert A. Heinlein
• People are just not really designed to be functional past 50.  A mandatory retirement age of 50 should be set and the privileges of healthcare (minus morphine injections) and driving would be revoked at age 70.  At that point, in the words of Auric Goldfinger, "I expect you to die."
• I'd give illegal immigrants 2 options: 1) Leave.  2) Die.
• Two words: English Only.
• Build the wall... put machine gunners on the top.
• While we're at it, put a mile-long minefield just north of the Mexican border... that would be entertaining if nothing else.
• The high population densities would make China really easy to nuke, should that be necessary.
• Anyone who takes a camera into a war zone should be shot on site.
• I'd support a "separate but equal" initiative that would extend similar privileges to gay couples as straight couples, but call it something that didn't have the word "marriage" in the name.
• We have two options to maintain healthy forests: 1) Log. 2) Let forest fires burn, unrestrained. Personally, I like my wood products.
• Labor unions, while serving a useful purpose, have become too powerful.
• I like a couple of Nickelback songs.
• Capitalism is not a universally extollable virtue.
• Nuclear power is great in aseismic areas, assuming all precautionary procedures are followed. 
• Ohio and Florida both really suck.
• If the Eastern Seaboard was cut off and allowed to float out to sea, it would make the United States of America a better place.  (Yes, I realize that this is not scientifically feasible.)
• "The only way to redeem the south is to burn it up and baptize for the dead." -J. Golden Kimball
• I miss natural selection.
• Speaking of which, I don't think creation and evolution are mutually exclusive.
• I think FDR was the best president.

Potassium.  I think that should do it for now.

On Capitalism

It's been a while since I've posted anything philosophical on my blag and my homework that was due tomorrow is now due next Wednesday, so I have a little free time to blag.

I'll be speaking on these issues as an American, but many of the ideas that I present will be applicable to all of western society.

Let me start off this post by saying that I'm a registered Republican and I voted for Mitt Romney (somewhat begrudgingly).  I'm an almost universal social conservative, being pro-life, pro-gun, pro-religion, pro-self sufficiency, pro-drilling, pro-fracking, and pro-logging.  I'm aligned with the conservative base of the Republican party on basically every issue... except one.  Unfortunately, that one issue is the hottest topic in the entire political sphere of western society.

Many of my super-conservative friends seem to extol capitalism as if it's a universal virtue sent by revelation from Heaven for the benefit of mankind.  In reality, capitalism is an extreme on the opposite side of the economic system spectrum from socialism.  Either one, in pure form, is just as likely to collapse in on itself and to leave society in ruin.  Many pundits on both sides of the aisle would have you believe that these two ideals are mutually exclusive, when in reality, any functional society requires balanced elements of both self service (capitalism) and social service (socialism).

Any blue-blooded American who's not a clove-smoking hippie can tell you why pure socialism, aka communism, doesn't work.  Under this sort of system, all people work for the benefit of the whole and resources are distributed as evenly as possible.  Any individual's prosperity is not based on how hard or how effectively that one person works, but on how well people work around him or her.  Under a purely socialist system, it's easy to give a minimal effort and receive a similar reward, because everyone around you can pick up your slack.  However, when too many people do this, the system collapses because nothing actually gets done.  Communism is the liberal extreme of the economic system spectrum and does not provide sufficient individual incentive to be sustainable.

In contrast, many Americans seem to have difficultly identifying why pure capitalism doesn't work, even though the answer should be more obvious to an objective observer (if such a person exists).  Part of this phenomenon is probably due to the fact that essentially pure socialist economies have existed for relatively short periods of time.  Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, and Red China (until more recently) are all good examples of societies that existed for a time with more or less socialist economies and eventually collapsed or, in the case of China, transitioned to a sort of pseudo-capitalism.  On the other hand, a purely capitalist society has either never existed or didn't last long enough to create any lasting records.  There are basically two reasons why.  One should be obvious, though people seem to have a hard time grasping it, and the other is more subtle.

First, I have two words for you: Market Failures.  A purely capitalist economy is incapable of providing certain public goods that are essential for a healthy, functional society.  Two excellent examples of market failures of public goods are the military and civil infrastructure.  There are several others both in and out of the realm of public goods, but these two are among the best simple examples.  These public goods can only be provided by a socialist system.  Many conservatives would balk at the idea that the military is a socialist program, but these folks haven't really thought about it.  For this program, the government is taking a little bit of wealth from everyone in order to preserve the nation as a whole.  The military is certainly not the most socialist system set up by the federal government, but it's along the same lines.  As far as public infrastructure goes, I'll let POTUS speak for himself.  Mitt Romney's heyday of taking this quote out of context made it slightly painful to vote for him.


If a society has a system that provides for these essential public goods, it is not a purely capitalist society.  These things can only be provided by a system that is inherently socialist in that it takes some proportion of the wealth from the populace in order to provide for the general welfare.  If a society does not have these public goods, there is a very high probability that it will soon collapse and be replaced by a society that does.

Now that we've covered what should be obvious, let's move on to the more subtle.  I've said for a few years now that an economist is also a political philosopher, even if he/she is a really bad political philosopher.  The ideas and analyses of wealth and trade cannot be totally divorced from those of power.  Not only does material wealth, in and of itself, bring power with it, those who are powerful are also more capable of obtaining material wealth by virtue of their power.  Free-market economics assumes that men would rather trade than steal.  While this is often true, there are clearly those who are willing to break to rules for the sake of wealth and increased power.

Any society that doesn't, at least somewhat, regulate the exertions of the powerful upon the weak, will eventually fail.  Power held by individuals and small groups leads to isolation of those individuals and groups from the rest of the populace.  Essentially, the very few ruling elite sit in a gated inclosure atop a hill and manage the numerous lower classes remotely.  A society in this state is volatile and there are many ways in which it can fail.  One way is that the powerful do not allocate enough of their wealth for public goods, resulting in a market failure, as previously mentioned.  Another is the small groups of the powerful spending resources to fight against each other, attempting to shrink the others' wealth and power, until the society collapses by attrition (see next paragraph).  There's also my personal favorite, which is united rebellion by the weak against the powerful.  Though few individuals may hold large quantities of power, a large majority is almost always more powerful in aggregate.  This rebellion can manifest itself as a peaceful refusal to work for the powerful, at some personal risk, or blood can flow down the streets of Paris (figuratively speaking:).  Regardless of the precise circumstances, a society that does not prevent the powerful from becoming too powerful will fall eventually.

It's been asked before how deregulation of economic players can possibly lead the economy to shrink.  I have another word for you: Rent-seeking.  Economic regulation is only universally bad if it's assumed that all participants in a capitalist economy are acting to grow their wealth in absolute terms and not merely relative to the wealth of others.  Rent-seeking is essentially using one's wealth and power to gain a larger proportion of the existing wealth, rather than creating new wealth.  Left unchecked, rent-seekers will almost universally shrink the total wealth available and cause a society to decline.  A purely capitalist society has no checks for the power plays of rent-seekers that can lead to economic and societal decline and collapse.

I said at the beginning of this post that both pure capitalism and pure socialism are extremes in the spectrum of economic systems and neither can exist in a functional society, at least not for very long.  As such, there is a need for balance between elements of both self service and social service.  For the political problems faced in much of the western world, I like the application of the far eastern philosophy of Yin and Yang.  For the description of this philosophy, I give mad props to whoever wrote the opening line of the Wikipedia article I just linked above.  It's pure gold.  "In Chinese philosophy, the concept of Yin-Yang, literally meaning 'shadow and light,' is used to describe how polar opposites or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn in relation to each other."  Capitalism and socialism are polar opposite and seemingly contrary ideas that necessarily have to be applied in tandem in order to maintain a healthy and functional society.  Without essential elements of both schools of thought, a society will collapse sooner, rather than later.

You can consider capitalism to be light and socialism to be darkness, if that helps you.  It really doesn't matter.

BYU vs. Oregon State Gameday

Today, my Alma Mater plays my new, substitute Alma Mater in football.  I'll be cheering for the team that would win an IRL mascot cage match (in impressive fashion).  I have the unique opportunity of knowing both of these teams very well, so I will offer an extended preview of today's matchup.

Prediction:
Even Sean Mannion would have had trouble with BYU's defense in Provo.  Cody Vaz, making his first career start, in LaVell Edwards Stadium against this monster of a D, has little to no shot.  I'm assuming that Riley Nelson is going to start and play most of the game.  If that's not the case, we're looking at 3-0 game in 3OT.  BYU's offense has struggled, but should be able to find some renewed life behind a renewed Riley Nelson.

BYU - 13, Oregon State - 6

Player to watch: BYU QB Riley Nelson
Matchup to watch: BYU WR Cody Hoffman vs. OSU CB Jordan Poyer
Stat to watch: Cody Vaz Turnovers

Keys to the Game

BYU
Play smart on offense
Take advantage of turnovers
Kick the ball through the uprights

Oregon State
Protect Cody Vaz
Contain Riley Nelson
Execute in the Red Zone

Favorites

So, it's the time of year when professional and collegiate sports abound and everyone can follow their favorite teams.  I've recently been thinking about what my favorite teams are in each of the sports I follow... and conversely, which teams are my least favorite.  Here are a few lists of my top 5 favorite and most despised teams in each of the 4 sports leagues I enjoy watching most.

NCAA Football
Favorite
1. BYU Cougars
2. Whoever's playing SpUtah
3. Oregon State Beavers
4. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
5. Air Force Falcons

Least Favorite
1. SpUtah SpUtes
2. Another Ohio State Buckeyes
3. University of Spoiled Children (USC) Trojans
4. Texas (not so) Christian Horned Frogs
5. Florida Gators

Major League Baseball
Favorite
1. Colorado Rockies
2. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
3. Houston Astros
4. Texas Rangers
5. Toronto Blue Jays

Least Favorite
1. Arizona D-bags
1. Los Angeles Dodgers
1. San Francisco Giants
4. Atlanta Braves
5. New York Yankees
5. Boston Red Sox

NFL Football
Favorite
1. Denver Broncos
2. Baltimore Ravens
3. Houston Texans
4. Atlanta Falcons
5. Arizona Cardinals

Least Favorite
1. Oakland Raiders
2. New England Patriots
3. Green Bay (Fudge) Packers
4. Kansas City Chefs    (Yes, I misspelled that on purpose)
5. Pittsburgh Steelers

NHL Hockey
Favorite
1. Colorado Avalanche
2. Montreal Canadiens
3. St. Louis Blues
4. Winnipeg Jets
5. New York Rangers

Least Favorite
1. Detroit Red Wings
2. Vancouver Canucks
3. Anaheim Ducks
4. Calgary Flames
5. Minnesota Wild

Some of these have interesting stories behind them, but I'm not going to go into detail.  If you're curious about any of my selections, I'll be glad to reveal my reasoning.  It's also noteworthy that there are a couple of cities with which I have a very ambivalent sports relationship, namely LA and Atlanta.

Bombshell

Before I begin, I want to make sure that you're caught up on the back story.

When I was 18.75 years old, I turned in papers to serve a full-time, proselyting mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  A couple weeks later, I was asked to complete an additional medical evaluation to determine if I could serve in the field without the medication I was taking at the time.  The evaluator determined that I was in need of the medication in question and, thus, could not serve a mission, because this substance was not allowed in the mission field.  My branch president pulled me into his office and told me I wouldn't be getting a call in April of '07.

After this, I went to BYU, met a couple crazy girls, made some great friends, and made tons of people feel awkward in social situations.  Best time of my life (so far).  I graduated, couldn't find a job, sat around for a while and now I'm in grad school at Oregon State.  You know that part of the story.

Now fast forward to the 24th of August 2012, almost two months after I had been through the temple for my own endowments.

During the previous days, I had been contemplating what I should do with my life and what my plans should be after graduation.  As I awoke that morning, I had a very distinct, unmistakable impression that I should try again to serve a full-time, proselyting mission in my youth.  I tried to dismiss this impression like Jonah and hop the next ship to Tarshish.  This wasn't the first time since I'd been deemed ineligible that the thought had occurred to me. However, at other times, it has been easy to push out of my mind and dismiss as a stupor of thought.  This time it stuck with me.  I had already planned to return to the temple that day to do an endowment session.  As I was sitting in the celestial room, I prayed as to what I should do in my future and if I should again try to serve a mission in my youth.  I received another impression in accord with the first.

As it turns out, I actually took two different medications when I was 18.75 years old.  For semantics' sake, we'll call one of them Pyridoxine and the other Tocopherol (not their real names).  For years following my non-call, I had always assumed that it was the Pyridoxine that had kept me from serving.  This is most likely from my own, internal bias resulting from the fact that that medication was more vital to my well-being than the Tocopherol.  In reality, Tocopherol was a newer, more powerful, and more closely monitored medication (though it had received FDA approval, for what that's worth).  In the years following, I've continued to take the Pyridoxine, but stopped taking the Tocopherol a couple years back, as it was no longer particularly necessary.

I talked with my bishop the following Sunday and asked him to contact the missionary department on my behalf.  It turns out that a young man is allowed to serve while on the medication that I've code named Pyridoxine, assuming that he can pass the same medical evaluation I underwent 5 years ago.  Yesterday, I went to Eugene to undergo another evaluation.  The evaluator said that she'd be glad to recommend me to serve a mission.

As I contemplate this concept, it makes the whole of my life since I turned 18 make much more sense.  I was not called when I was 19 because the Lord wanted my grandfather to be able to supplement my education.  When I sought to marry a young woman (or two) the answer was a resounding 'no' because the Lord still wanted me to serve.  The Lord lead me almost forcibly to Oregon State University so that I could be prospered financially and be around people who would help me come to the conclusion that I should try again to serve a mission.  I even think the Lord prompted my bishop to ask when he did if I wanted to go through the temple for my endowments so that my spiritual eyes could be more fully opened and I could receive these revelations.  Without the clarity the endowment has brought me, I would almost certainly not be making this post.

Then there's the financial prosperity the Lord has brought me itself.  For the last year, or so, I've kind of been wondering what I'd do with the big pile of money with which I've been blessed.  I figured I'd use it to pay down my student loans and/or help get myself set up when I graduated and/or get myself a motorcycle.  I was wrong on the last two accounts and mostly wrong on the first one.  At this point the two biggest hurdles to my missionary service are the aforementioned student loans and some dental work.  My teeth aren't nearly as pristine as they were in 2007.  (Seriously, I had gorgeous teeth.)  Now, I'll need at least 2 fillings, probably a[n inlay], and hopefully not too obscenely much in my roots.  With the big pile of cash with which I've been blessed, I should have enough to make 25+ payments on my student loans, get the dental work done, and pay for most of my mission, assuming the dental work isn't absolutely obscene.  My path has clearly been blessed by the hand of God.

At this point, my plan is to finish my master's degree as planned and graduate in June of next year.  It's unlikely that I'll be ready much before that time, regardless.  I will probably begin papers in February or March and submit them in May for a July availability date.  At no point in this process will I absolutely assume that I will be getting a mission call.  I have learned to not be pretentious.  Though it seems very likely that I will get a call, I'm perfectly willing to accept the possibility that I, again, won't.  I ask that you take a similar approach for me and any other prospective missionaries.  I'd really appreciate it.

However, I'm more than happy to accept predictions.  If you're going to make one, I recommend taking into account that I will be taking a medication, though that medication is fairly easy to get and fairly cheap.  Still, I think somewhere in the US or Canada would be the most realistic prediction.  If I had the luxury of hand-picking a mission, I'd want to go to Winnipeg, Manitoba, because I like Canada and Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and western Ontario seem like good places.  Yes, I know it would be wicked-cold there; hand warmers would be a must.  If I was to log a more realistic prediction, I'd say [Arcadia], California speaking Spanish, because that's where East LA is and I have a sneaking suspicion that the Lord wants me to learn to love illegal immigrants, even if I don't accept their life choices.

Updates will most certainly follow.