Planning Ahead

So, after my recently completed EPIC roadtrip to Snowflake, AZ, there are a couple of issues which have been brought to the forefront of my mind. There were plenty of flippin' awesome adventures which will be shared in the near, future, but I'm going to need some time to organize these thoughts. However, there are others which have come conviently preorganized for entrance into this blag.

At one point during this epic roadtrip, I had a discussion with one of the friends with whom I went concerning what our plans were for the future. She listed a series of plans A-D which involved reasonable and worthy goals for a latter-day saint in her age bracket. It then became my turn to share my plans for the future. Herein I shall list, in as close to exact wording as possible, what I related to her.

Before I get into my list of life plans, I find it necessary to first list a few baseline assumptions which are pivotal to the context of my life plans.

1. The only definite unkown in my future which would require planning would be if, when, and with whom I would marry.

2. My lack of personality and/or spiritual prowess would prevent most any worthy latter-day saint woman from wanting to marry me based solely on who I am.

3. LDS women base their marriage decision, in large part, on their observances of a potential mate's relationship with his mother.

4. The fact that my mother is a narcissistic sociopath with whom I have a minimalistic relationship would deter any remaining women who found what little personality I posses attractive.

Alright, now onto the plans...

Plan A: Obtain Cars and Money--I find that when I'm feeling relatively down or depressed about my life situation, Good Charlotte's song, "Girls and Boys," is particularly comforting. Inasmuch as all human beings are shallow on some level, the ability to obtain material possessions will attract potential spouses. The drawback is that I might have the privilege of finding out first hand that an IQ score can actually come back negative.

Plan B: Obtain Bachelor Pad--Recently, one of my roommates suggested that he would like to invest in a bachelor pad after he graduates. As long as their is never a cat in this place, I wouldn't mind joining him.

Plan C: Obtain Sugar Momma--I've always supposed that I would make some woman a good second husband. Finding a woman who's already loaded with her ex-husband's money would take the pressure off of me, and maybe even allow me to live a little.

Plan D: Obtain Tall Bridge--You might be asking, "Why does he need to obtain the tall bridge when he could just find one?" Well the answer to that is simple. The first three plans involved obtaining something or another, so I decided to continue the streak. And heck... I could just charge it on a credit card... will I have to pay for it in the end? I submit that I will not! ;)