I've been thinking recently about This Post that I made over a year ago concerning the number of women worldwide with whom I'd be mutually compatible. After I thought about it, I realized that the number I came up with (66) was a very conservative estimate and practically represents a theoretical upper bound to the actual number of women with whom I could have a relationship. I am now revisiting this topic to make less conservative estimate so that I can find a value closer to the lower bound.
In the same format as before:
Membership of the LDS Church (as of Dec. 31st 2008): 13,508,509
Using the same number as before for comparability.
...who are active: 7,429,680
Instead of the way-conservative 76% activity rate, I used a much more pessimistic value of 55%.
...who are female: 3,714,840
Yeah, the world is still pretty much half women.
...who live in developed nations (and speak English): 1,300, 194
Say only 35% of LDS women live in developed nations and speak fluent English.
...who are in the proper age range: 130,020
Saying a seven-year age range represents 10% of the populace probably represents an approximate lower bound.
...who are "beautiful" in my opinion. 2,965
Saying that women must be 2 standard deviations above average in the characteristics that I'm looking for isn't even that big of a stretch.
...and intelligent: 68
I maintain that an IQ of 120 isn't that much to ask when mine is in the range of 145.
...who aren't already married: 21
Are 70% of Mormon women 18-25 married? Probably not. This represents one of my less reasonable assumptions from the first time around.
...who are interested in me: 4
I think 1 standard deviation below average is about right.
If I carry all of my digits instead of universally rounding up, it comes out to 3.22, since those tenths and hundredths start to be significant when you're talking about single digits.
Were you surprised it didn't hit zero? Because I was, the way it was looking there for a second.
130,020/4 = 32,505 weeks, which is about 625 years at one date per month.
The once every six months trend has remained pretty steady, so at that rate, it would be more like 16,252 years.
Just remember: The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees it as half empty. The engineer sees a safety factor of 2.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Storytime
As some may know and others are about to find out, my maternal grandfather, Orville Weldon Schaffer, Jr. died just a few weeks ago, and I went to Houston for his funeral. In a strange twist of events, he died on Thanksgiving day, just like his first wife, my grandmother, but that's not why I'm writing this post. I'm writing this post to tell you probably the most important lesson(s) my grandfather taught me about the gospel.
My grandfather was not a religious man, nor was he a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or other any church. He was an atheist before being an atheist was cool. However, through the latter years of his life and in his death, he was able to teach me how the Lord preserves and provides for his children and those who diligently serve him.
For those of you who know me well, you know that my mother managed to spend 135% of my college fund by the time I was ready to start college. Without an outside source of cash, I would have found a job in construction (or at Target) in 2006 when I graduated from high school. Luckily, my grandfather, Orville, was a depression-era child and spent most of his life working multiple jobs at a time as a machinist, surveyor, and wastewater treatment specialist. Over the years, he had spent as little of his money as possible and saved everything that he could. By the time I was ready to start college in 2006, he had amassed multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars merely by working and saving. My mother called my grandfather months before I was ready to start college and asked (more like demanded) that he help out with cash. In total he gave me $8000-$9000 a year for all four years that I was in college, coming out to about $34,000 total. I am genuinely grateful that my grandfather was able to come through and help me to such a large sum. I really couldn't have done it without him.
Now this is where the story really begins. My grandfather was born in February of 1925, making him 81 years old when I started college. Just for reference, the current life expectancy at birth for males in the US is 75.6 years old. My grandfather had already exceeded this by over 5 years when I graduated from high school. By the time I graduated from college, he was closer to ten years above average. After he made his final contribution to my college fund, in August of 2009, his health began to deteriorate. Around that time, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer that shortly afterward metastasized and spread throughout his entire body. He began losing weight rapidly and was largely unable to stand or walk. He refused to take treatment figuring that his time had come and that he was ready to pass on. Finally, on Thanksgiving day, November 25th 2010, around noon, he did just that.
There are a few lessons that I take away from this story. One of these is that the Lord will bless the righteous with blessings that they cannot even comprehend if they do his will and seek those things which are according to his will. In this case, I thoroughly believe that the Lord preserved my grandfather almost entirely for my own blessing. My grandfather was in almost pristine health (considering that he was in his 80s) as long as he was contributing to the righteous endeavors of his grandson. My grandfather was never the most righteous of men. He was incredibly honorable like I mentioned earlier in his work and in his military service, when he served in the US Navy during World War II. However, he never brought his life completely into accord with the principles of the restored gospel, and could hardly be called righteous in many aspects. Despite his lack of righteousness, he was preserved and prospered for a wise purpose in aiding his grandson in his righteous goals.
Another lesson that I learned is that, while the trials we endure now may not make sense, they probably will in the long term. At age 19, I was very disappointed that I was not able to serve a mission for medical reasons. However, if I had gone and my grandfather had died in 2010, I most likely would have been hopelessly unable to finish my bachelor's degree anytime soon. While I still would have loved to have gone, I can understand, at least in part why the Lord did not send me. Like my grandfather, the Lord had, and still has, a wise purpose for me.
The final lesson that I learned is that the Lord is merciful, even to those who do not believe him. Though my grandfather was on the verge of death, and was no longer being fully preserved by the Lord, he was still able to see and comprehend the day that I graduated from college. And while he didn't show it much, it was clear that he appreciated seeing the fruits of his contributions in the life of his grandson.
I know that the Lord Jesus Christ lives and that the restored gospel is the way back to him in the next life. It is stories like this that help me to know that this is true and that I am doing what is right. I may not understand all that the Lord has in store for me, but things like this help to see a little more clearly.
Thanks Grandpa.
My grandfather was not a religious man, nor was he a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or other any church. He was an atheist before being an atheist was cool. However, through the latter years of his life and in his death, he was able to teach me how the Lord preserves and provides for his children and those who diligently serve him.
For those of you who know me well, you know that my mother managed to spend 135% of my college fund by the time I was ready to start college. Without an outside source of cash, I would have found a job in construction (or at Target) in 2006 when I graduated from high school. Luckily, my grandfather, Orville, was a depression-era child and spent most of his life working multiple jobs at a time as a machinist, surveyor, and wastewater treatment specialist. Over the years, he had spent as little of his money as possible and saved everything that he could. By the time I was ready to start college in 2006, he had amassed multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars merely by working and saving. My mother called my grandfather months before I was ready to start college and asked (more like demanded) that he help out with cash. In total he gave me $8000-$9000 a year for all four years that I was in college, coming out to about $34,000 total. I am genuinely grateful that my grandfather was able to come through and help me to such a large sum. I really couldn't have done it without him.
Now this is where the story really begins. My grandfather was born in February of 1925, making him 81 years old when I started college. Just for reference, the current life expectancy at birth for males in the US is 75.6 years old. My grandfather had already exceeded this by over 5 years when I graduated from high school. By the time I graduated from college, he was closer to ten years above average. After he made his final contribution to my college fund, in August of 2009, his health began to deteriorate. Around that time, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer that shortly afterward metastasized and spread throughout his entire body. He began losing weight rapidly and was largely unable to stand or walk. He refused to take treatment figuring that his time had come and that he was ready to pass on. Finally, on Thanksgiving day, November 25th 2010, around noon, he did just that.
There are a few lessons that I take away from this story. One of these is that the Lord will bless the righteous with blessings that they cannot even comprehend if they do his will and seek those things which are according to his will. In this case, I thoroughly believe that the Lord preserved my grandfather almost entirely for my own blessing. My grandfather was in almost pristine health (considering that he was in his 80s) as long as he was contributing to the righteous endeavors of his grandson. My grandfather was never the most righteous of men. He was incredibly honorable like I mentioned earlier in his work and in his military service, when he served in the US Navy during World War II. However, he never brought his life completely into accord with the principles of the restored gospel, and could hardly be called righteous in many aspects. Despite his lack of righteousness, he was preserved and prospered for a wise purpose in aiding his grandson in his righteous goals.
Another lesson that I learned is that, while the trials we endure now may not make sense, they probably will in the long term. At age 19, I was very disappointed that I was not able to serve a mission for medical reasons. However, if I had gone and my grandfather had died in 2010, I most likely would have been hopelessly unable to finish my bachelor's degree anytime soon. While I still would have loved to have gone, I can understand, at least in part why the Lord did not send me. Like my grandfather, the Lord had, and still has, a wise purpose for me.
The final lesson that I learned is that the Lord is merciful, even to those who do not believe him. Though my grandfather was on the verge of death, and was no longer being fully preserved by the Lord, he was still able to see and comprehend the day that I graduated from college. And while he didn't show it much, it was clear that he appreciated seeing the fruits of his contributions in the life of his grandson.
I know that the Lord Jesus Christ lives and that the restored gospel is the way back to him in the next life. It is stories like this that help me to know that this is true and that I am doing what is right. I may not understand all that the Lord has in store for me, but things like this help to see a little more clearly.
Thanks Grandpa.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Oh, and btw...
...I have, more or less, finished submitting my applications for graduate school next fall. I ended up applying to 7 schools, most of which I've mentioned before. Up to the beginning of the application process, these were pretty much the only schools that hadn't given me some reason not to go there. Any school that was ranked below BYU (#73) in US News and World Report's grad school rankings was pretty much automatically out, because the only reason that I would not go back to BYU is to go to a more prestigious school. Many of the other schools were in places that I no desire to live. Others didn't have very much emphasis on the areas of civil engineering in which I'd like to concentrate, ie. geotechnical and/or structural. Others didn't give full tuition waivers for those with graduate assistantships, which would be the whole reason that I'm even bothering to apply to grad school at this time, since I clearly can't afford it otherwise.
At the onset of the application process, there were 2 of the schools to which I applied whose application process made me really, really not want to go there. These shall be at the bottom of my list for the time being. Now, in order of excitement about the possibility of going there, the schools to which I applied:
Just so no one is confused, the assistantship and financial package that I get from these schools will be the deciding factor in where I go. I may very well end up going to UCLA or Washington if they sweeten the pot enough. In the words of P. Diddy, "It's all about the Benjamins."
At the onset of the application process, there were 2 of the schools to which I applied whose application process made me really, really not want to go there. These shall be at the bottom of my list for the time being. Now, in order of excitement about the possibility of going there, the schools to which I applied:
- Virginia Tech - A quality school for any sort of engineering discipline. The only thing that I dislike about the school is that there are 4 NASCAR tracks that are closer than the nearest LDS temple. The tracks at Bristol, TN; Martinsville, VA; Charlotte, NC; and Richmond, VA are all closer than the Raleigh, NC temple, which is the closest to the campus. Additionally, there is no singles' ward in Blacksburg, all the singles just get thrown in with the family ward... not that there are that many singles to begin with. The only thing that I didn't like about the application process was that all documents had to be in Word 2003 format, though that was only a minor inconvenience. And as a bonus, the graduate school was efficient enough that I have already received an acceptance letter; if there was an assistantship offer with it, I might be packing my bags for Blacksburg right now.
- Oregon State - While this one is a little farther down in the ranking of civil engineering grad schools, there is very little that I dislike about the school and its application process. The only thing that I even remotely dislike about the school so far is that their mascot is the beaver. This is not only rather emasculate, but is rather suggestive as well. The application process went about a perfectly as it could go, and my application to Oregon State was the first one that I knew for sure was completed.
- Purdue - This is the highest-ranked school to which I applied, and it probably has the most prolific civil engineering research program, though most of it is focused on structural. The only problem with Purdue is that, the more I think about Indiana, the less I want to live there. I mean seriously, the only reason that I would even want to visit Indiana is the off-chance of meeting Austin Collie again. The prospect of living there for a year and a half to two is a little discouraging. However, the application process did go pretty much without a hitch... as far as I know.
- CU Boulder - After moving back in with my parents in August, I'm not sure I ever want to live within 500 miles of them again, if I can help it. Not only is CU only 20 miles from my house, but it's in the People's Republic of Boulder, the land of fruits and nuts. While CU does have some nice research facilities and it would be cool to be close by my Denver-area friends, I'm not sure if the Pros could possibly outweigh the Cons. The application process to CU was pretty straightforward, though there is no way to check the status of your application materials or make any changes once you've submitted it. It's just a spray-n-pray kind of deal, submit your part of the application and then hope they get the rest. Also, since I scheduled a campus visit, they seem to be convinced that I'm a prospective undergrad even though I clearly filled out the graduate application.
- BYU - I love BYU. I love most everything about it. However, I would like to expand my horizons (and my networking contact list) by attending a different university for grad school. I talked to Dr. Rollins about doing graduate research at BYU after the '11-'12 school year, though nothing is for sure at this point. The grad application to BYU seemed to be easier than the undergrad app, though the ecclesiastical endorsement is still as big of a pain as it ever was.
- UCLA - This was actually a recent addition to my list of grad schools. Deciding that I wanted to do my grad research in earthquake engineering made the primary public school in LA a very viable option; and anyone who hates the University of Spoiled Children as much as they do is alright with me. However, the application process has me rather disenchanted at this point. First of all, the application is due on December 15th ( which is kind of obscenely early). Next, the school requires that all letters of recommendation have to be hand-signed by their authors. This would have been all well and good if they had told me this BEFORE three of my recommenders submitted recommendations. However, they did not, those writing me letters submitted them unsigned, and I got an email from UCLA telling me that my recommenders had not signed their letters of recommendation. Finally, Dr. Hotchkiss seems to be totally unable to submit my letter of rec even though he signed it. The application has just been a huge pain.
- Washington - While Washington would be an all-around great place to live, go to school, and do research, the application was a total nightmare. The worst of it was that I had to upload unofficial copies of my transcripts in .pdf format. First of all, I have transcripts at 3 schools, 2 of which don't even give out unofficial transcripts. The UW application would literally not let me submit my application until I had uploaded something for unofficial transcripts for all three schools. I just ended up uploading the same unofficial transcripts from BYU that give acknowledgment of my transfer credit three times. If that's not sufficient for them, they can kiss me @$$. Adding to this craptacity is that the files had to be in .pdf format. I don't know about you, but my computer doesn't have to be a pdf writer, which makes this huge thing an even bigger pain. I ended up just using an online MS Word to pdf converter that only lets you make one conversion every 30 minutes... unless you subscribe to their services and pay them money. And as I already mentioned, I submitted that pdf file to them 3 times. The real kicker is that they didn't even ask for an official copy of my transcripts, and when I called them to ask where to send my official transcripts, they were totally unhelpful. Dear UW, [Beep] you and your incredibly tedious graduate application... and btw, I will not be bowing down to Washington, because your football team sucks.
Just so no one is confused, the assistantship and financial package that I get from these schools will be the deciding factor in where I go. I may very well end up going to UCLA or Washington if they sweeten the pot enough. In the words of P. Diddy, "It's all about the Benjamins."
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The Good, The Bad, and The Ute Fans
Over the 3 or so years that I was a student at BYU, I have developed a fiery, burning hatred for the University of Utah as an organization and most of those who voluntarily affiliate themselves therewith. I have even quoted Max Hall many a time in saying, "I hate Utah. I hate everything about them." While I will openly mock all those who attend the University of Utah, there is only really one group who I truly loathe with a passion. I really can't fault most of the students, faculty, football team, or alumni, since they have a valid reason to affiliate themselves with the University of Utah. The people who I absolutely cannot stand are the ones who have no valid reason to affiliate with the spU, but do so because they have found some fault with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.The LDS church owns and operates BYU and is the very core of its educational system. The student body consists of around 98% LDS students and there is a very permeating LDS culture that is associated therewith. There are many people in Utah and abroad that affiliate themselves with the University of Utah, in contrast to BYU, as a form of rebellion against the church, it's leadership, and it's membership. In all honesty, these are some of the most despicable people that I have met in my life so far. They are, generally, people who have very little direction in life, drink copious amounts of alcohol, and have few, if any, sexual hangups. These are precisely the people who spit on and threw beer at Max Hall's family and displayed a blowup doll labeled, "Max Hall's Mom" during the 2008 BYU-Utah football game in Salt Lake. While I'm sure that there are good people who attend and affiliate with the University of Utah for whatever reason, there is also a population who can only be called scum, living a riotous and immoral lifestyle who do the same. These people are the reason that I hate Utah and can hardly stand to step foot on their campus. These are those to whom I refer simply as, "Ute Fans."
I'm not sure that I can totally say how these sort of people become how they are, with such a hatred for the LDS church and all that it stands for. I'm sure that many of them grew up in the church, but never really appreciated the doctrines of the gospel, and grew to despise the counsels given to them by church leaders. Some of these may have also been offended at one particular doctrine or counsel and voluntarily disaffiliated themselves with the church or were excommunicated long ago. I would also speculate that some are not and have never been members of the church, but have a keen distaste for the "theocratic" and "authoritarian" way that the church operates, which permeates in Utah and Mormon culture. Any of these and others could and often do affiliate with the University of Utah merely because they have found fault with the church.
Considering the state of the world, I cannot possibly see this situation being remedied anytime soon. The doctrines of the church and the ideals of the world are rapidly diverging. As Nephi said, there will be many who rage against the church at the last day (See 2 Nephi 28:20). I can only see those who love to be part of the world becoming more angry and those who affiliate with Utah because they dislike the church to grow in number.
And to those who like to say that the prophet went to University of Utah, I have one thing to say to you: So did Ted Bundy. Don't believe me? See for yourself.
Go Cougars.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Comparison Shopping
Disclaimer: This post is a joke, and if you take it seriously, you're stupid.
Recently, I've realized that dating women is a lot like gambling at casinos. Not having much experience with either women or gambling, I came up with some characteristics of both. Let's examine the evidence, in both scenarios:
Recently, I've realized that dating women is a lot like gambling at casinos. Not having much experience with either women or gambling, I came up with some characteristics of both. Let's examine the evidence, in both scenarios:
- You can't win if you don't play.
- You're more likely to get struck by lightening 35 times than you are to win the jackpot.
- They'll dump you shortly after you run out of money.
- If you lose too big, too often, they'll take your house.
- Your odds of getting arrested skyrocket.
- They seem like a better idea when you're inebriated.
- They're pure consumption. Every dollar that you devote to them is gone forever, and you'll never see it again.
- Along the same lines, you'll never be richer than the day before you started playing.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Purpose
I've realized that much has happened since I last updated this blag. I'm not particular sure on details at this point, so this is going to be kind of the de facto Reader's Digest version of my life.
I went to Provo for about a week and filmed a TV show while there with my roommates from Spring/Summer. A couple months ago, Scott Manning applied for our apartment to be on the Food Nanny on BYU tv. This is a quintessential Mormon show in which an older lady whose kids are grown comes over and helps families "Rescue Dinner." In this case, we're not exactly a family, so there are a few deviations from the typical plot line. Overall though, it was a blast and I look forward to seeing myself on TV sometime in late January or early February. Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for what happens to your ear drums if you listen to Liz Edmunds with the volume on your computer or TV turned up too loud. She's super fun, but very eccentric. Be warned.
While I was in Provo, I was able to go to both the BYU grad school fair and the Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM) career fair. The grad school fair held very little promise since half the booths there were occupied by departments from the spU or Utah State. However, I did talk the Purdue guy who was full of useful information and got my very own University of Abalama elephant squeeze toy, which makes me want to go there, just because it's the best schwagg... ever. The career fair, on the other hand, held plenty of promise, though I'm not sure how much, if any, of it will pan out. I talked with several companies who seemed interested in hiring me. The big ones were Rio Tinto, McCarthy Building, Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, Vanir Construction Management, Layton Construction, and of course, Kimley-Horn. Both McCarthy and the naval shipyard were holding interviews the next day and said that they might call that night to schedule one. I didn't get a call from either of them, which is disappointing. I submitted my applications to both Rio Tinto and Vanir, and would hope to hear back from them at some point. Kimley-Horn is actually the company with which I had an interview scheduled ahead of time. I went through this interview and everything seemed to go well, however I'm merely left to wait to hear back and see if anyone actually wants to hire me. Overall, the career fair was productive, but not nearly as productive as I had hoped. Most of the civil engineering firms weren't actually hiring, but rather just looking to hand out schwagg so that you'll remember them later. However, I still hold out hope.
Since my hope has been made perfect, I have also been making preparations to submit applications for grad school next fall. On Thursday, I sent out a few emails to my former professors asking for letters of recommendation and what kind of research would be available back at BYU. Dr. Saito responded to my email within two hours. The other two that I sent out have not yet elicited a response. I hope that Dr. Hotchkiss and Dr. Gerber are merely ignoring me over the weekend as opposed to ignoring me indefinitely. That would be unfortunate. In addition to the letters of rec that I have asked for, I have also been working on a statement of purpose. After lots of deliberation and thought, I've managed to pound out an initial draft of at least Purdue's statement of purpose. I look forward to people picking it apart into tiny little bits, then restructuring it. If you want to have the privilege of reading this statement, let me know and I'll get it to you in an email.
It might be slightly confusing for the habitual readers of my blag to see me writing a statement of purpose to Purdue when, as of my last post, I wasn't even considering them. Well, way back when, I was considering Purdue. It started when fiancée #2 and I were both considering grad schools to attend so that we could go together. Purdue has reputable programs for both speech language pathology and civil engineering and her Female Parental Unit (not her mother... you don't really want to know) was living in Indiana at the time, so that choice was easy. At some point along the road, Purdue's user unfriendly website pissed me off and I decided to stop considering it. However, this week, when I talked to the Purdue guy at the career fair, I decided to look more into it. It turns out that it's still a good program and I could fulfill my dream of going there for free if I got an assistantship. In addition to this change, I've alse decided that I really don't want to go to Wisconsin because their civil engineering department is set up in a really weird way and that I wouldn't mind going to the University of Minnesota - Twin Cities, since the aforementioned Dr. Hotchkiss got his Ph.D. there and I could go there for free.
So, you should be pretty much caught up on what I'm up to these days... not that it's that exciting or anything. :P
Friday, September 3, 2010
Plan F
Considering that neither my post-graduate Plan A or Plan B are working out too well, I think it's about time I start working toward Plan F. Plan A is still to find an entry-level job in civil engineering, preferrably making a competitive wage at the same time. That has clearly not been working out all too well thus far, but I did only get my degree posted to my transcripts about a week ago. Hopefully, at the BYU career fair and with all the other applications I've been submitting, I can find something that actually pays in money and not in cases of hot pockets or facebook credits. Plan B was to join the military in either the Army or the Air Force as an engineer officer. Since it appears that I'm ineligible to join the military as an officer, that will prove rather difficult. Now, since I skipped letter codes C to E just for effect, it's on to Plan F. This plan involves going to grad school starting in the fall of 2011 for a civil/environmental engineering master's degree.
For a good while now (since at least about 3 or 4 months ago) I've decided that I refuse to pay for grad school. While this might sound utterly absurd, there are actually quite a few programs across the country that will waive all forms of tuition and even give you a nice stipend if you go to grad school at their university if you can get a graduate research or teaching assistantship. In civil engineering programs, there are often plenty of research opportunities (though with the crapconomy, no one really knows) and with my previous teaching assistant experience, I might actually qualify for one of those. If I can find a school that will actually give me a research/teaching assistantship, I might just take the glorious opportunity to acrue more usury on my undergraduate loans and work toward a graduate degree in civil engineering.
According to my last count, there are eight schools at which I wouldn't mind pursuing a master's degree in civil engineering. More or less in the order of preference:
- Virginia Tech - VT has a massive civil engineering department with over 60 professors and a plethora of research opportunities to go with them. It's also ranked 9th in the nation according to US News and World Report for civil engineering grad schools.
- Washington - I'm not going to say too many nice things about UW right now, but I do like their program and think it would generally be a good place for me.
- California, Los Angeles (or the University of Cottonpickin', Lower Abalama, as I like to call it.) - While I may not respect UCLA's athletics, their academics and especially their civil engineering department is top notch. If I more certainly wanted to study geotechnical/earthquake engineering, this would definitely be the place, since it gets rocked frequently. And any school that hates the University of Spoiled Children is alright with me.
- Oregon State - I'm not sure how much I'd actually enjoy being part of the OSU community, but at this point, I'm a fan of the civil engineering program. I don't hate Oregon now, but I'm sure I would after being an OSU student for over a year.
- Colorado, Boulder - As much as Boulder is full of hippie stoners, I think that CU-Boulder has the best program in the state and I wouldn't mind going there if I could get an assistantship. On the upside to this one, I have many friends in the north Denver area and I would live near my parents for optimal mooching. And with the Buffs joining the Pac-12 next year, it makes the 4th consecutive Pac-12 school.
- Wisconsin, Madison - In a place where the mosquito is the state bird, I'm not sure I could make through my time there without dropping the F-bomb once or twice, though I'm not sure that anyone really cares. Wisconsin's program is ranked number 16 in the nation, though I'm not sure that it's actually worth it to live in such a dismal local.
- Notre Dame - As I've mentioned before on this blag, the price at Notre Dame is right. Anyone who is admitted to ND in for civil engineering automatically gets a graduate assistantship, and therefore, no one pays tuition. I respect Notre Dame's football program, but also think that Brian Kelly is a douchebag. The best thing about that is that BYU is going to play them several times over the next few years.
- Brigham Young - The place where I got my undergrad degree. I'm almost positive that either Dr. Gerber or Dr. Hotchkiss would want me to do research with them and I could get some sort of assistantship there. Additionally I already have good friends that alread live there, and assuming that my former roommates can manage to kick out the guy from Dell Tech Support, I know exactly where I want to live. And don't forget, I left BYU without a ring...
I'm not totally sure that BYU would be my absolute last choice, but it really depends on where else I get in. The application deadlines for most all of these schools is January 15th, so I'd need to start working on these applications in about mid-October in order to finish them. The first one due is UCLA on the 15th of December, so if I don't have a job by then, the application is going in.
Hopefully, at some point, I can get Plan A to start working out for me so that I don't even have to consider Plan F until several years down the road. In addition to Plan F, there is also Plan Z which involves finding a job that pays about $15 an hour or more, since this is about the minimum that I can make and still pay my bills, whether it's in any way relevant to my degree or not. Then there's also Plan Γ (gamma), which, as I've already mentioned, involves hopping on a train and being a hobo for about 10 years.
At this point, I'm rooting for Plan A...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thoughts on Unemployment
Much to the chagrin of my good friend and former roommate, Hyrum J. Hemingway, I will now expound to you my thoughts on illegal immigration, it's political and economic repercussions, and what I think should be done about it. Now, you might think I'm a racist for picking on Mexicans. Let me just give you two pieces of perspective that will help you to understand why I don't care. The first is that I refer to anyone who lives south of the US border and speaks Spanish as a Mexican. This makes the only people in Latin America to whom I don't refer as Mexicans, Brazilians, to whom I refer as Brazilians. Secondly, my dad likes to walk around town wearing a shirt with a confederate flag on it that says, "The South will Rise Again." At some point, I'll probably also blag about my thoughts on airport security... then you'll REALLY think I'm a racist.
For some time now, I've been hearing that the United States has been hovering right around 9.5 to 10% unemployment, according to U-4. Naturally, other measures of unemployment will be higher. I can't seem to shake the idea in my mind that this is, at least partially, because illegal, and many legal, immigrants are coming into the United States and shifting the supply curve in the labor market to the right. This will cause a decrease in the free market price of labor and with the price floor of the minimum wage, an increase in the surplus of workers that we call unemployment. Now, I've heard it said One hundred billion times before that illegal immigrants are only doing the jobs that Americans aren't willing to do. Frankly, this is Bullsh*t. When construction workers are making $10 to $25 an hour and literally not a single one of them speaks English, this cannot possibly be the case. There are thousands of American citizens who would love to have construction jobs that paid that well, myself included. Granted, there are jobs like picking cabbage and making burritos in the back of a van that most Americans aren't willing to do for 4 cents a cabbage, or the like. However, I'm pretty sure that Americans opposition to these jobs isn't the adverse conditions, but rather, the adverse pay. If the labor curve was shifted back to it's legitimate leftward place, employers would have to pay a higher wage for these workers and many Americans would be willing to perform their tasks. This leftward shift in the labor market supply would also bring the equilibrium free market price up and bring it closer to the price floor, the minimum wage.
Now, most economists would balk at this idea, citing that this is an inhibition of free trade and would result in a reduction of total surplus for the United States. I'm generally a fan of free trade, but I also believe that trade should be fair between the two participating parties. In order for this trade to be fair, I, as an American who's never been to Mexico or anywhere in Latin America, would need to be able to walk into Mexico without even being questioned by the government, get a job, and reap government benefits, which include more or less free healthcare and retirement benefits. As far as I can tell, if I just tried to walk into Mexico, the government would either 1) shoot me or 2) send me to jail, then deport me. Until Mexico and most other Latin American countries are willing to give all of the benefits that their citizens have come to expect in the United States, there should be no labor trade between these parties.
On the topic of a reduction in surplus, I would argue that surplus is not necessarily the best way to tell if the people in a country truly have a high quality of life. In the 1770s and '80s in France, the total surplus of country was through the roof. However, this was because the high class was spending an incredible amount of money on things that may or may not have had any value while exploiting the poor and the ever-diverging middle class. Though there was a large surplus in the country, it was only a very small portion of the populous that was able to take advantage of it, while the vast majority of the people suffered inhumanely. In this case, the "self interest," or just plain greed, of the French Bourgeoisie failed them when the oppressed lower class rebelled against them, brutally killed them, took all of their worldly possessions, and established a new form of government and social system.
In the contemporary United States, we are at a similar, yet drastically milder juncture, at least at this point. There is a very small, elite class of people who make most of the income in the United States and use the wealth that they have gained to usurp power from the rest of the populous. These people have decided that, in order to increase total surplus, which will go mostly to them and their businesses, the country should import a large quantity of illegal immigrants to cut costs and increase profits. The middle class is rapidly diverging into those who are somewhat close to joining the privileged elite and those who are on the verge of poverty. What remains of the middle class believes that these illegal immigrants should be deported, but is mostly powerless to do so because the elite have usurped so much power from them. Complicating this matter is that the illegal immigrants have received a hefty assortment of benefits (as already alluded to) from the more liberal side of the government. This causes what illegal immigrants who become citizens to vote very far left because they stand to benefit personally. What it comes down to is that elite politicians on both sides of the aisle have tremendous incentives to keep illegal immigrants here and to keep shipping in more, while the majority of the United States populous wants them gone.
While we will probably not see change quite on the same level as the French Revolution, if change does not come soon, blood just might flow down the streets of Washington DC. Being the ruthless dictator type that I am, if it was up to me, I would make a massive manhunt for everyone who was not in this country legally and kill them on site, just to send a message to anyone who is thinking that it might be worth it come to the States. I would then commandeer a 10-mile section of land on the US side of the border and fill it with landmines. On the north edge of this "death zone" would stand a 20-ft high, reinforced masonry wall that extends with 10 feet of reinforced concrete below the ground and 3 coils of razor wire on the top. The fill dirt used in this project would also be laced with thousands of pounds of cyanide and radon gas balloons would be placed every so often to prevent tunnelling. A guard tower would be built at intervals of 200 yards and border patrol agents would be placed in them with 30 calibur machine guns and a megaphone. While these measures might be drastic and terribly unrealistic, I would place them anyway, just to be safe. However, it is entirely not up to me, and I believe that strong and well-enforced deportation policies and even stronger and better-enforced border control policies would be sufficient. I don't, however, think that this issue can be resolved entirely without the shedding of blood. Illegal immigrants have come to expect too much from this country and it's government to go entirely peacefully.
At last, lest you think I'm a Marxist, I do believe in fair free trade and the application of self interest to help economies and individuals reach their goals and new heights and do things that they could not do otherwise. However, I also believe that with wealth also comes power, and as we should know, power corrupts. Those who have large quantities of wealth also have the capacity to oppress those who have less. When self interest causes one truly rightful citizen to harm or take away from another, it is time for something to happen that removes that person from power, even if it means removing the wealth of that person. In the case of the contemporary United States, the wealthy elite are using the power that they have gained to oppress what middle class by bringing in illegal immigrants by the vanload and change will come soon; hopefully in a way which is less violent and upheaving than the French Revolution.
For some time now, I've been hearing that the United States has been hovering right around 9.5 to 10% unemployment, according to U-4. Naturally, other measures of unemployment will be higher. I can't seem to shake the idea in my mind that this is, at least partially, because illegal, and many legal, immigrants are coming into the United States and shifting the supply curve in the labor market to the right. This will cause a decrease in the free market price of labor and with the price floor of the minimum wage, an increase in the surplus of workers that we call unemployment. Now, I've heard it said One hundred billion times before that illegal immigrants are only doing the jobs that Americans aren't willing to do. Frankly, this is Bullsh*t. When construction workers are making $10 to $25 an hour and literally not a single one of them speaks English, this cannot possibly be the case. There are thousands of American citizens who would love to have construction jobs that paid that well, myself included. Granted, there are jobs like picking cabbage and making burritos in the back of a van that most Americans aren't willing to do for 4 cents a cabbage, or the like. However, I'm pretty sure that Americans opposition to these jobs isn't the adverse conditions, but rather, the adverse pay. If the labor curve was shifted back to it's legitimate leftward place, employers would have to pay a higher wage for these workers and many Americans would be willing to perform their tasks. This leftward shift in the labor market supply would also bring the equilibrium free market price up and bring it closer to the price floor, the minimum wage.
Now, most economists would balk at this idea, citing that this is an inhibition of free trade and would result in a reduction of total surplus for the United States. I'm generally a fan of free trade, but I also believe that trade should be fair between the two participating parties. In order for this trade to be fair, I, as an American who's never been to Mexico or anywhere in Latin America, would need to be able to walk into Mexico without even being questioned by the government, get a job, and reap government benefits, which include more or less free healthcare and retirement benefits. As far as I can tell, if I just tried to walk into Mexico, the government would either 1) shoot me or 2) send me to jail, then deport me. Until Mexico and most other Latin American countries are willing to give all of the benefits that their citizens have come to expect in the United States, there should be no labor trade between these parties.
On the topic of a reduction in surplus, I would argue that surplus is not necessarily the best way to tell if the people in a country truly have a high quality of life. In the 1770s and '80s in France, the total surplus of country was through the roof. However, this was because the high class was spending an incredible amount of money on things that may or may not have had any value while exploiting the poor and the ever-diverging middle class. Though there was a large surplus in the country, it was only a very small portion of the populous that was able to take advantage of it, while the vast majority of the people suffered inhumanely. In this case, the "self interest," or just plain greed, of the French Bourgeoisie failed them when the oppressed lower class rebelled against them, brutally killed them, took all of their worldly possessions, and established a new form of government and social system.
In the contemporary United States, we are at a similar, yet drastically milder juncture, at least at this point. There is a very small, elite class of people who make most of the income in the United States and use the wealth that they have gained to usurp power from the rest of the populous. These people have decided that, in order to increase total surplus, which will go mostly to them and their businesses, the country should import a large quantity of illegal immigrants to cut costs and increase profits. The middle class is rapidly diverging into those who are somewhat close to joining the privileged elite and those who are on the verge of poverty. What remains of the middle class believes that these illegal immigrants should be deported, but is mostly powerless to do so because the elite have usurped so much power from them. Complicating this matter is that the illegal immigrants have received a hefty assortment of benefits (as already alluded to) from the more liberal side of the government. This causes what illegal immigrants who become citizens to vote very far left because they stand to benefit personally. What it comes down to is that elite politicians on both sides of the aisle have tremendous incentives to keep illegal immigrants here and to keep shipping in more, while the majority of the United States populous wants them gone.
While we will probably not see change quite on the same level as the French Revolution, if change does not come soon, blood just might flow down the streets of Washington DC. Being the ruthless dictator type that I am, if it was up to me, I would make a massive manhunt for everyone who was not in this country legally and kill them on site, just to send a message to anyone who is thinking that it might be worth it come to the States. I would then commandeer a 10-mile section of land on the US side of the border and fill it with landmines. On the north edge of this "death zone" would stand a 20-ft high, reinforced masonry wall that extends with 10 feet of reinforced concrete below the ground and 3 coils of razor wire on the top. The fill dirt used in this project would also be laced with thousands of pounds of cyanide and radon gas balloons would be placed every so often to prevent tunnelling. A guard tower would be built at intervals of 200 yards and border patrol agents would be placed in them with 30 calibur machine guns and a megaphone. While these measures might be drastic and terribly unrealistic, I would place them anyway, just to be safe. However, it is entirely not up to me, and I believe that strong and well-enforced deportation policies and even stronger and better-enforced border control policies would be sufficient. I don't, however, think that this issue can be resolved entirely without the shedding of blood. Illegal immigrants have come to expect too much from this country and it's government to go entirely peacefully.
At last, lest you think I'm a Marxist, I do believe in fair free trade and the application of self interest to help economies and individuals reach their goals and new heights and do things that they could not do otherwise. However, I also believe that with wealth also comes power, and as we should know, power corrupts. Those who have large quantities of wealth also have the capacity to oppress those who have less. When self interest causes one truly rightful citizen to harm or take away from another, it is time for something to happen that removes that person from power, even if it means removing the wealth of that person. In the case of the contemporary United States, the wealthy elite are using the power that they have gained to oppress what middle class by bringing in illegal immigrants by the vanload and change will come soon; hopefully in a way which is less violent and upheaving than the French Revolution.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Unemployment
If you've read anything that I've been posting over the last month or two, you really should know that I'm unemployed. My degree was posted to my transcripts on Thursday of this last week. With that, I am now fully unemployed, with no doubts about it. I've also been rejected from just as many jobs as ever recently and have been applying to yet more. I honestly don't think there's anything more that I can do... legally... that would more effectively help me find a job. Also, at my interview with WTI, I found out that I would be perfectly qualified for the job, that they wanted to hire me, and that I could start almost immediately, however, the job pays a glorious $11 and hour. And lest you think, "Well, you should just take what you can get," I should inform or remind you that my education was, in large part, financed with debt and that I owe in the neighborhood of $20,000 on those loans. A paltry $11 an hour is literally not enough for me to pay my bills and eat. (Trust me, I made an Excel spreadsheet and tried to squeeze my finances as much as I could, but without selling my blood plasma 6 times a week, I can't live on $11 an hour.) So, I'm pretty much left at square one. I have no job, no offers, have had one joke of an interview, and very few prospects for the future. To convolute matters, my father has issued the ultimatum that I must move out of his house by February 13th, 2011... which is about the same time my student loans come due.
So, all of this makes me really wonder what the *H* I'm going to do with my life if I don't have a job by that all-important date on the calendar. At this point, I think I would pack some limited amount of my crap into a bag and make my way back to Provo, somehow, someway. At that point I would probably bum places to sleep and meals off of whoever I could until I could find something on which my time is worth spending. One of my friends in Provo, Paul Bascom, mentioned that it would be a good idea to start an Arrested Development-esque banana stand in Provo. Honestly, I think this is a great idea and wouldn't mind contributing. Heck, since I'm genuinely unemployed, I could work there pretty much everyday that we'd be open, and maybe even make enough money to pay my bills... who knows.
At the same time, I've kind of been wondering if I should just become a legitimate hobo, since we're in the midst of the Great Depression v2.0 and my preferred industry has been hit especially hard. I think I might enjoy hopping on trains and making my way across the country; meeting up with other hobos and swapping hobo stories. Maybe find someplace to shower and then drop off a few résumés along the way. And heck, with Obamacare, I don't even have to worry about getting dysentery, since all expenses are paid by the United States government. Eating out of the dumpster behind Fazoli's just became that much more practical. At the same point, there are some implicit occupational hazards associated with being a hobo. Douchebags like the kind of douchebags who watch Jackass like to pick fights with hobos wherever they may end up. And people just generally like to kick and assault hobos just because they can. I think I'd have to cover this problem by carrying around a hobo knife with me. Like the hobo from the Simpsons sang, "Nothin' beats the hobo life, stabbin' folks with my hobo knife!" In this case, I think I'd have to carry around the Sog Seal 2000 that I got for Christmas a few years back. This thing has about a 6-in long, hardened steel blade that could puncture just about any portion of the human body... and is used by the Navy Seals, in case you couldn't tell. And if you're a hobo, the government can't come and collect you student loans. I'd have no permanent address and no assets to speak of... what are they going to do? Seize my ephing knapsack? I don't think so.
You might also wonder why, if I'm going to live as a hobo anyway, would I not just take a crappy $11 an hour job and then live under a bridge with a PO Box. Well, I've clearly thought of that, and there are several problems. Not the least of these is that, when you have a job, your boss co-workers, and everyone around you expects you to shower more or less daily. Not happening as a hobo. Additionally, I have the slightest sense of entitlement that tells me, "If I'm going to be working my @$$ off to make some money, I'm going to have a roof over my head." Honestly, I don't think that this is too much to expect. The last problem that I could foresee would be the lack of flexibility. The only reason why I'd live the hobo life is so that I could hop trains and end up in new places based on my arbitrary desires. I would be the master of my own destiny, regardless of how bleak that destiny actually was. If I had to be my boss' b*tch during the day, then get kicked by douchebags at night, with no promise of reprieve, I would almost certainly go homicidal... and probably suicidal too. It would really be the worst of both worlds.
All aspirations of being a hobo aside, the BYU STEM career fair is on the 22nd of September... and there's even another one on February 1st of next year. I'm hoping that I can find something remotely promising at that event, or at least pick up some good schwagg that will help me live my life as a hobo. I'm also just going to keep applying for jobs and try to have the blessing of the Lord with me, since I think we both know that that's the only way that someone's going to find a job in this crapconomy.
So, all of this makes me really wonder what the *H* I'm going to do with my life if I don't have a job by that all-important date on the calendar. At this point, I think I would pack some limited amount of my crap into a bag and make my way back to Provo, somehow, someway. At that point I would probably bum places to sleep and meals off of whoever I could until I could find something on which my time is worth spending. One of my friends in Provo, Paul Bascom, mentioned that it would be a good idea to start an Arrested Development-esque banana stand in Provo. Honestly, I think this is a great idea and wouldn't mind contributing. Heck, since I'm genuinely unemployed, I could work there pretty much everyday that we'd be open, and maybe even make enough money to pay my bills... who knows.
At the same time, I've kind of been wondering if I should just become a legitimate hobo, since we're in the midst of the Great Depression v2.0 and my preferred industry has been hit especially hard. I think I might enjoy hopping on trains and making my way across the country; meeting up with other hobos and swapping hobo stories. Maybe find someplace to shower and then drop off a few résumés along the way. And heck, with Obamacare, I don't even have to worry about getting dysentery, since all expenses are paid by the United States government. Eating out of the dumpster behind Fazoli's just became that much more practical. At the same point, there are some implicit occupational hazards associated with being a hobo. Douchebags like the kind of douchebags who watch Jackass like to pick fights with hobos wherever they may end up. And people just generally like to kick and assault hobos just because they can. I think I'd have to cover this problem by carrying around a hobo knife with me. Like the hobo from the Simpsons sang, "Nothin' beats the hobo life, stabbin' folks with my hobo knife!" In this case, I think I'd have to carry around the Sog Seal 2000 that I got for Christmas a few years back. This thing has about a 6-in long, hardened steel blade that could puncture just about any portion of the human body... and is used by the Navy Seals, in case you couldn't tell. And if you're a hobo, the government can't come and collect you student loans. I'd have no permanent address and no assets to speak of... what are they going to do? Seize my ephing knapsack? I don't think so.
You might also wonder why, if I'm going to live as a hobo anyway, would I not just take a crappy $11 an hour job and then live under a bridge with a PO Box. Well, I've clearly thought of that, and there are several problems. Not the least of these is that, when you have a job, your boss co-workers, and everyone around you expects you to shower more or less daily. Not happening as a hobo. Additionally, I have the slightest sense of entitlement that tells me, "If I'm going to be working my @$$ off to make some money, I'm going to have a roof over my head." Honestly, I don't think that this is too much to expect. The last problem that I could foresee would be the lack of flexibility. The only reason why I'd live the hobo life is so that I could hop trains and end up in new places based on my arbitrary desires. I would be the master of my own destiny, regardless of how bleak that destiny actually was. If I had to be my boss' b*tch during the day, then get kicked by douchebags at night, with no promise of reprieve, I would almost certainly go homicidal... and probably suicidal too. It would really be the worst of both worlds.
All aspirations of being a hobo aside, the BYU STEM career fair is on the 22nd of September... and there's even another one on February 1st of next year. I'm hoping that I can find something remotely promising at that event, or at least pick up some good schwagg that will help me live my life as a hobo. I'm also just going to keep applying for jobs and try to have the blessing of the Lord with me, since I think we both know that that's the only way that someone's going to find a job in this crapconomy.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Shotgun Approach
I've decided that, instead of trying to dedicate an individual blag entry to each of things that I have floating, or dancing, or screaming in my head, I'd just say a couple of things about each of them.
- I graduated from BYU. After enduring through countless hours, tests, and erasures... and being subjected to the sadism of BYU Math and BYU Poli Sci, I'm finally done.
- GPA's: Overall - 3.54, Generals w/ Religion - 3.56, Generals w/o Religion - 3.40, Civil Engineering - 3.53, Management Minor - 3.80.
- If BYU ever posts my degree to my transcripts, I will be unemployed. Technically, you don't count as unemployed until you're out of school. However, I've felt pretty unemployed for the past 4 months.
- I actually have a job interview on Thursday for a job in Babylon. After 8 months of carefully placing resumes around the country, I finally got an actual interview.
- The job doesn't pay what I wish it did, but it would be at least somewhat related to my area of study and it would by far superior to nothing. It's for a construction materials testing technician. Basically, I would make concrete cylinders and break them according to ASTM and AASHTO standards.
- I could appreciate finding a job in Utah. I mean, I did leave BYU without a ring, after all. Between the girls and the friends I have in Happy Valley, I'd like the opportunity to work and to continue living in Utah.
- I've had the song, "Paint with All the Colors of the Wind" from the movie Pocahontas stuck in my head for the last 6 days. It all started when I heard Candace Shields sing in sacrament meeting. Her voice reminded me of Pocahontas, and now that I don't really have much in the way of responsibility or business, the song has been stuck in my head.
- Once I actually get a job, I'll actually get a car for the first time in my life. There are many ways that I want to be like Jesus, however walking everywhere I go isn't one of them. My dad and I have been talking about getting a brand new Chevrolet Cobalt. :D
- I've decided that, if I get a Ph.D. I want to get it from Georgia Tech... mostly just because I want to sing their wicked-cool fight song at a football game.
- At some point here soon, I'm going to make a poster to parody the BYU BGS poster that asks, "Leave BYU Without a Degree?" by replacing the word 'Degree' with 'Spouse.'
- I've decided that I want to name my firstborn son, 'Scott Manning,' not only after the legit rockstar Scott Manning, but also in honor of the man who came up with arguably the most useful and most controversial relationship in fluid mechanics, Osbourne Manning.
- I kind of want to change my middle name to, 'The Hands,' or 'μαλάκα,' or 'τα χέρια.'
That should pretty much do it. Now for the Georgia Tech fight song, a clear beacon of morality in these latter days :P
Monday, August 2, 2010
Somebody to Love would be Good Too...
Based on my recent struggles with employment and the crapconomy, I've decided to rewrite the classic Queen song, "Somebody to Love." Enjoy.
Someplace I Can Work
Remix of 'Somebody to Love'
by Queen
Remix of 'Somebody to Love'
by Queen
Can anybody find me someplace I can work?
Each time I check my email I die a little.
Can Hardly believe what I see.
I take a look at my CV and I cry.
Oh, what's been happening to me?
I've spent all of my years believing that,
If I had a degree I'd be fine!
Somebody, Somebody...
Can anybody find me someplace I can work?
I'll work hard every day of my life.
I'll work till I ache in my bones.
I don't even ask for much hard-earned pay all of my own.
I feel like there are bees,
chasing after me,
but they're really my student loans!
Oh somebody, somebody...
Can anybody find me someplace I can work?
(He'll work hard)
Everyday I apply and apply and apply
But everybody wants to send me down
To the unemployment line!
They say my benefits are about to run out
Got no way to pay
I'm even on my 14th mortgage!
No, no no no...
Oh Gosh,
Somebody, somebody...
Can anybody find me someplace I can work?
Got no cash, I got no credit.
The bank keeps taking my stuff.
Not okay, not alright.
I don't want to sell my spleen!
I gotta get out of this economy.
Someday I'm gonna be employed!
Find me someplace I can work.
Can anybody find me someplace I can work?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Dang, I should Complain More Often
So, this morning, less than twelve hours after my rant on Dr. Benzley's demoralizing exit survey, I checked my inbox, as I often do to find a very encouraging email. This email was from Kathy Buck, a hiring manager with Bechtel Corp. in response to my application to job number whatever in Frederick, Maryland. When I first saw this, I naturally assumed that it was an ordinary job rejection notice like I had received as a result of countless other job applications. When I opened it, I was actually surprised to find that Bechtel was somewhat interested in actually talking to me and not just taking my résumé, folding it into a paper airplane and chucking it out the window. Kathy with Bechtel actually asked for a copy of my transcripts and said that if I hadn't heard back from her by the 13th of next month, which is coincidentally the day that I graduate, that I should call her for updates on my application.Though Frederick, MD is 1600 miles from my hometown and over 2000 miles from where I am right now making this blag post, I think that I would actually enjoy living in that area and working there. This town is actually about 50 miles west of both the Washington DC metro area and Baltimore, both of which tend to be ghetto, crime-ridden crapholes. I would really dislike living near or between either of those two pits, and Frederick is far enough for my tastes. Additionally, Frederick is only about 10 miles from the Virginia border, and strangely enough only about 25 miles from the town of Leesburg, Virginia, coincidentally where I applied for another job a couple months ago. If I established residency in Virginia, I would be able to get in-state tuition at Virginia Tech and would be able to go there comparatively easily. Naturally, this is all hypothetical, but it would be pretty awesome if it actually happened.
Hooray employment, hooray opportunities, hooray Bechtel, and hooray Hokies.
Thanks for that Dr. Benzley
Today I got an email from BYU's civil engineering department asking me to fill out an exit survey before I graduate and that it's required for graduation, blah blah blah. Before today, I was kind of looking forward to this email because it meant that the CE department had actually been keeping track of me and that I am indeed on track to graduate in two weeks. However, once I opened the exit survey and started filling out the questions, I was slightly less than contented. I'm sure that my department chair, Dr. Steven E. Benzley didn't mean to totally defame my character and make me look like a worthless waste of flesh, but that's pretty much how it turned out. Here are the first four questions from the survey. The rest of them are irrelevant to my point and mostly consist of me crapping on the incendiary evil that is the math department.
So I thank you BYU Civil Engineering Department for pointing out my most significant failures from the last 4 years and then jamming them into my eye sockets. I would liken my feelings right now to a red-hot cast iron torsion sample thrusted squarely and firmly into the groin... or so. Now the best part is that I get to answer similar questions 2, 5, and 10 years from now as a follow-up. Hooray for reliving this wonderful event... and hooray beer!
- Where will you be working after graduation?
- What is the salary range of job offers you have received so far?
- Are you married?
- Did you serve an LDS mission?
So I thank you BYU Civil Engineering Department for pointing out my most significant failures from the last 4 years and then jamming them into my eye sockets. I would liken my feelings right now to a red-hot cast iron torsion sample thrusted squarely and firmly into the groin... or so. Now the best part is that I get to answer similar questions 2, 5, and 10 years from now as a follow-up. Hooray for reliving this wonderful event... and hooray beer!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Dear Hiring Managers,
Recently I've heard a lot about how you monitor all of my activity on social networking sites, track my credit and spend habits, and may or may not be putting a 'wire' tap on my phone to monitor my calls and/or text messages. With this in mind, I will take a glorious opportunity to explain to you why I should become part of your company as an entry-level engineer, construction manager, or intern. If you're here, you've probably already seen my résumé, cover letter, college transcripts, and maybe even my credit history, criminal background, and driving record, so I won't focus too much on the things covered by those media. I will instead focus on the things you'll find on my social networking sites, and in my various communications with my friends.
The first thing that I'd like to point out to you is my clean and well-behaved lifestyle. As you can see from my photos and posts on facebook and twitter, I'm not much into riotous living with lots of booze, drugs, and strange women. I like to live my life in a way that I can think clearly and rationally most every second of the day. If I was allowed an opportunity at your company, I'd be able to focus on the goals and objectives that were set before me by management instead of being distracted and chemically modified by a riotous lifestyle. I'd like to think that I am just more wise and sagacious than most 22 year-old men out there and that my interests and activities reflect such.
The next thing that I'd like to point out is that I do have a personality and a sense of humor, but I assure you that I know where the line needs to be drawn between humor and professionalism. I believe that I could bring an upbeat feeling and a sense of lightheartedness to many offices. However, I also know and can recognize that there are many situations in which any humor is entirely inappropriate. As you can probably see, I enjoy making playful jokes with my friends and acquaintances, but I know that there are many situations in business which call for professionalism and a stoic character.
Reading through this blog in particular, you may have concerns that I would not be able to work well with or around women. I would assure you, however that any issue that I have with women is only at the romantic level of a relationship. As long as there is no romance between me and a women in the office, there would be no problem. Along those same lines, I am personally no particularly fond of workplace romance, so that would be a minimal concern. I would also have no problem working with others of different races, religions, colors, creeds, age groups, etc.
Finally, I would like to point out that this blog serves as somewhat of a writing sample. Though I would be more involved in technical writing, I would like to point out I am generally pretty good at putting my ideas down in writing. I rarely edit or proofread these blog posts for content or mechanics, but they usually end up turning out exceptionally well. In a work setting, my writing would even improve because I would take the time to double and triple check my writing for mechanical errors and for content since it would certainly be worth my time.
Overall, I believe that the content of my social networking sites and other communications with my friends should not act as a deterrent to adding me as a new member of your company, but should give some insight into why you should hire me. I believe that I would make an excellent asset to any company and would love to have to opportunity to prove my worth, not only intellectually, but with my personality as well.
The first thing that I'd like to point out to you is my clean and well-behaved lifestyle. As you can see from my photos and posts on facebook and twitter, I'm not much into riotous living with lots of booze, drugs, and strange women. I like to live my life in a way that I can think clearly and rationally most every second of the day. If I was allowed an opportunity at your company, I'd be able to focus on the goals and objectives that were set before me by management instead of being distracted and chemically modified by a riotous lifestyle. I'd like to think that I am just more wise and sagacious than most 22 year-old men out there and that my interests and activities reflect such.
The next thing that I'd like to point out is that I do have a personality and a sense of humor, but I assure you that I know where the line needs to be drawn between humor and professionalism. I believe that I could bring an upbeat feeling and a sense of lightheartedness to many offices. However, I also know and can recognize that there are many situations in which any humor is entirely inappropriate. As you can probably see, I enjoy making playful jokes with my friends and acquaintances, but I know that there are many situations in business which call for professionalism and a stoic character.
Reading through this blog in particular, you may have concerns that I would not be able to work well with or around women. I would assure you, however that any issue that I have with women is only at the romantic level of a relationship. As long as there is no romance between me and a women in the office, there would be no problem. Along those same lines, I am personally no particularly fond of workplace romance, so that would be a minimal concern. I would also have no problem working with others of different races, religions, colors, creeds, age groups, etc.
Finally, I would like to point out that this blog serves as somewhat of a writing sample. Though I would be more involved in technical writing, I would like to point out I am generally pretty good at putting my ideas down in writing. I rarely edit or proofread these blog posts for content or mechanics, but they usually end up turning out exceptionally well. In a work setting, my writing would even improve because I would take the time to double and triple check my writing for mechanical errors and for content since it would certainly be worth my time.
Overall, I believe that the content of my social networking sites and other communications with my friends should not act as a deterrent to adding me as a new member of your company, but should give some insight into why you should hire me. I believe that I would make an excellent asset to any company and would love to have to opportunity to prove my worth, not only intellectually, but with my personality as well.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Chalk One up to 'Opportunities'
In my recent job search I've come across a few opportunities that fall under the category of: "Radically hypocritical reverse discrimination, but I'll take it because of the crapconomy." Just a couple of days ago the Holy Grail of all reverse discrimination job opportunities fell into my hands, but first, a little background.
For any who don't know, I am actually 1/8 Alaskan Native. Before you ask your next question, the tribe is 'Athapaskan,' and it's okay that you haven't heard of it... I wouldn't have either if I was you. In general, I've been putting "American Indian or Alaskan Native" in the EEO box thing of job applications, just to see if I can pique any interest, but there are some jobs for which that distinction is absolutely mandatory, in my mind. A few months ago, I found a civil engineering company that was owned and operated by Alaskan Natives with an opportunity for an entry-level civil engineer in Tucson, AZ. On this application, I not only put that I was an Alaskan Native, but that I am a descendant of an Alaskan Natives Corporation shareholder, but more on that later. Sadly, they ended up deciding not to fill that position, and indeed issue a hiring freeze at their Tucson office, as far as I can tell, but there is still hope.
Before I proceed, a little history lesson for the vast majority of the population is in order. In 1971, good old Dick Nixon signed into law the Alaskan Native Claims Settlement Act. This act formed thirteen corporations which own and operate land and other resources in Alaska and gives Alaskan Natives almost absolute autonomy. As it turns out, my mother, being 1/4 Alaskan Native was issued 100 shares in the corporation Doyon, Limited. Doyon owns much of the land surrounding Denali and Fairbanks in central Alaska all the way over the Canadian border, which is where the Athapaskans reside, but that's tertiary. The minimum standard for being issued shares in the corporation is 1/4 blood, so I don't qualify to get shares, but when it comes to getting jobs with such corporations, I can indeed claim that I am a shareholder descendant and still get preference.
So, on Wednesday in my finance class we had a computer lab, so naturally I was surfing the internet instead of doing the mind-numbing spreadsheet that was assigned. I was searching for jobs mostly to no avail, when I thought of Doyon and thought that they might have something close to my field of interest. As I came to the jobs portion of the site, I found that there was an opening for an entry-level construction engineer in Federal Way, WA. I wasn't able to apply for the job right then and there, since I didn't have my flash drive, but as soon as I got home I started re-writing my resume and cover letter to fully embrace my Alaskan Native heritage and to express my desire to work for the company that I've heard so much about since I can remember and submitted my application for that job.
I'm not totally sure what will come of this, but I'm pretty positive that there aren't many Doyon shareholders that graduate with degrees in civil engineering. And I'm also pretty sure that most who do don't graduate with a 3.53 GPA. If I do end up getting this job, I'll also be pretty well set to go to the University of Washington for grad school, especially since it's just right up the road. In the end, I'm not sure that I'll get this job, but it's probably the best opportunity that's dropped into my lap since my dad brought my mom and I together and said, "Guys, I'm going back to church, I want you to come with me at least once, just to see how you feel about it." :D
For any who don't know, I am actually 1/8 Alaskan Native. Before you ask your next question, the tribe is 'Athapaskan,' and it's okay that you haven't heard of it... I wouldn't have either if I was you. In general, I've been putting "American Indian or Alaskan Native" in the EEO box thing of job applications, just to see if I can pique any interest, but there are some jobs for which that distinction is absolutely mandatory, in my mind. A few months ago, I found a civil engineering company that was owned and operated by Alaskan Natives with an opportunity for an entry-level civil engineer in Tucson, AZ. On this application, I not only put that I was an Alaskan Native, but that I am a descendant of an Alaskan Natives Corporation shareholder, but more on that later. Sadly, they ended up deciding not to fill that position, and indeed issue a hiring freeze at their Tucson office, as far as I can tell, but there is still hope.
Before I proceed, a little history lesson for the vast majority of the population is in order. In 1971, good old Dick Nixon signed into law the Alaskan Native Claims Settlement Act. This act formed thirteen corporations which own and operate land and other resources in Alaska and gives Alaskan Natives almost absolute autonomy. As it turns out, my mother, being 1/4 Alaskan Native was issued 100 shares in the corporation Doyon, Limited. Doyon owns much of the land surrounding Denali and Fairbanks in central Alaska all the way over the Canadian border, which is where the Athapaskans reside, but that's tertiary. The minimum standard for being issued shares in the corporation is 1/4 blood, so I don't qualify to get shares, but when it comes to getting jobs with such corporations, I can indeed claim that I am a shareholder descendant and still get preference.
So, on Wednesday in my finance class we had a computer lab, so naturally I was surfing the internet instead of doing the mind-numbing spreadsheet that was assigned. I was searching for jobs mostly to no avail, when I thought of Doyon and thought that they might have something close to my field of interest. As I came to the jobs portion of the site, I found that there was an opening for an entry-level construction engineer in Federal Way, WA. I wasn't able to apply for the job right then and there, since I didn't have my flash drive, but as soon as I got home I started re-writing my resume and cover letter to fully embrace my Alaskan Native heritage and to express my desire to work for the company that I've heard so much about since I can remember and submitted my application for that job.
I'm not totally sure what will come of this, but I'm pretty positive that there aren't many Doyon shareholders that graduate with degrees in civil engineering. And I'm also pretty sure that most who do don't graduate with a 3.53 GPA. If I do end up getting this job, I'll also be pretty well set to go to the University of Washington for grad school, especially since it's just right up the road. In the end, I'm not sure that I'll get this job, but it's probably the best opportunity that's dropped into my lap since my dad brought my mom and I together and said, "Guys, I'm going back to church, I want you to come with me at least once, just to see how you feel about it." :D
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Call Me a Chauvanist Douchebag, but...
Note: This is not my post on militant feminazism, that may or may not come later.
Disclaimer: This post will probably be offensive to everyone, especially married people, women, and double especially married women. If you tend to be offended by things, please refrain from reading this post... Don't say I didn't warn you.
If there has even been a deterrent to me getting married, it has been the way that married people interact. More specifically, the way that many wives treat their husbands makes me want to join a monastery and never see another living woman as long as I live. The following is probably the best explanation of why I may very well never get married and why, for years, I had absolutely zero desire to do so.
A week ago, literally on my birthday, I was blessed to give a sacrament talk on the family. This has made me think about the relationship that I had with my parents and the relationship that my parents had with each other. Naturally, the first marriage relationship that I had the privilege to view was the one between my parents. My parents really didn't have many friends, (surprise surprise) so I didn't see much in the way of other marriage relationships until I was about 16, when I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Knowing that I didn't see much in the way of marriages between birth and age 16 is crucial to understanding my skewed views of both women and marriage.
To start off, I suppose that my mom has an IQ of between about 70 and 75. I don't mean to disparage her, but she is just not a very intelligent individual. On the contrary, my dad has an IQ on the order of 115 to 125. He has always been a very intelligent man and is probably the best-read mailman that you'll ever meet in your life. It's sad how he ended up not being able to go to college, but that's a story for another day. Anywho, the point is that there was quite a disparity in intelligence between my parents, my mom being on the lower end and my dad being on the higher end. Additionally, it is important to note that my mother had very high quantities of both pride and paranoia. She always believed that she was right, regardless of how preposterous or poorly founded her claims were. And, oh gosh, how my mother had other issues, but I don't feel the need to turn my blag followers into a psychiatrist.
From my perspective, this was not conducive to producing emotionally healthy and chemically well-balanced children. In most of the arguments that my parents ended up getting in, my dad almost always made more sound arguments because he just had a dramatically higher IQ. With my IQ and logical pattern of thought, I generally ended up relating more with my dad than with my mom. These arguments most often focused around my mother's inability to stop spending money like a drunken sailor on a 3-day pass and her inability to hold down a job. At that point, my mother was often left with nothing left but emotional responses and unfounded claims. She would usually resort of one of three possibilities: 1) Threatening to divorce my dad and take half of everything he owned. 2) Accuse him of having an affair with random women (this has actually gotten worse since we joined the Church and my dad got a home teaching assignment.) 3) Threaten to never again have sex with him. And was I in the room when these things were happening? Most of the time, yes.
All of this glorious marriage relationship goodness led me to believe that no woman really liked men and women only got married for financial incentives and that non-masochist men would only get married for one night of guaranteed sex. As my dad liked to say, "So, we've already established that you're a prostitute, now we're just negotiating the price."
Since I joined the Church, I've seen many more in the way of marriage relationships. I've seen some relationships that give me hope for the future, still the majority of them fail to inspire me to truly want to become a part of this sort of relationship. Amongst the youngest generation of Latter-day Saints that I've met, especially those who have been married for more than about 2 years, I've found that women seem to treat their husbands like an old, used tampon that gave them TSS. Women generally command their husbands as if they are indentured slaves with no agency to act for themselves, but only to be acted upon. I've seen many a dog that are treated better than most husbands of Mormon women out there.
Allow me to submit that I absolutely despise being told what to do. I'm okay with being asked to do something, but when someone commands and expects me to obey, the uncensored words, "F-ck you!" will eventually come from my lips. The Gospel teaches that we have agency and that the spirit of love will ask and exhort a man or woman to do things and never seek to force and extort. And I'm all about the Gospel.
To sum it all up, I have a really distorted view of marriage, how it has fit into my life so far, and how it might continue to be a part of my life. The marriages I've seen have not been pleasant in my eyes. I'm sure that the people who are in those relationships are happy, but I would not be happy in their shoes. I'm really unsure about how I will be able to view women and marriage in the future. I try to retain optimism, but it doesn't seem to come very easily. We'll see how it goes...
Disclaimer: This post will probably be offensive to everyone, especially married people, women, and double especially married women. If you tend to be offended by things, please refrain from reading this post... Don't say I didn't warn you.
If there has even been a deterrent to me getting married, it has been the way that married people interact. More specifically, the way that many wives treat their husbands makes me want to join a monastery and never see another living woman as long as I live. The following is probably the best explanation of why I may very well never get married and why, for years, I had absolutely zero desire to do so.
A week ago, literally on my birthday, I was blessed to give a sacrament talk on the family. This has made me think about the relationship that I had with my parents and the relationship that my parents had with each other. Naturally, the first marriage relationship that I had the privilege to view was the one between my parents. My parents really didn't have many friends, (surprise surprise) so I didn't see much in the way of other marriage relationships until I was about 16, when I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Knowing that I didn't see much in the way of marriages between birth and age 16 is crucial to understanding my skewed views of both women and marriage.To start off, I suppose that my mom has an IQ of between about 70 and 75. I don't mean to disparage her, but she is just not a very intelligent individual. On the contrary, my dad has an IQ on the order of 115 to 125. He has always been a very intelligent man and is probably the best-read mailman that you'll ever meet in your life. It's sad how he ended up not being able to go to college, but that's a story for another day. Anywho, the point is that there was quite a disparity in intelligence between my parents, my mom being on the lower end and my dad being on the higher end. Additionally, it is important to note that my mother had very high quantities of both pride and paranoia. She always believed that she was right, regardless of how preposterous or poorly founded her claims were. And, oh gosh, how my mother had other issues, but I don't feel the need to turn my blag followers into a psychiatrist.
From my perspective, this was not conducive to producing emotionally healthy and chemically well-balanced children. In most of the arguments that my parents ended up getting in, my dad almost always made more sound arguments because he just had a dramatically higher IQ. With my IQ and logical pattern of thought, I generally ended up relating more with my dad than with my mom. These arguments most often focused around my mother's inability to stop spending money like a drunken sailor on a 3-day pass and her inability to hold down a job. At that point, my mother was often left with nothing left but emotional responses and unfounded claims. She would usually resort of one of three possibilities: 1) Threatening to divorce my dad and take half of everything he owned. 2) Accuse him of having an affair with random women (this has actually gotten worse since we joined the Church and my dad got a home teaching assignment.) 3) Threaten to never again have sex with him. And was I in the room when these things were happening? Most of the time, yes.
All of this glorious marriage relationship goodness led me to believe that no woman really liked men and women only got married for financial incentives and that non-masochist men would only get married for one night of guaranteed sex. As my dad liked to say, "So, we've already established that you're a prostitute, now we're just negotiating the price."
Since I joined the Church, I've seen many more in the way of marriage relationships. I've seen some relationships that give me hope for the future, still the majority of them fail to inspire me to truly want to become a part of this sort of relationship. Amongst the youngest generation of Latter-day Saints that I've met, especially those who have been married for more than about 2 years, I've found that women seem to treat their husbands like an old, used tampon that gave them TSS. Women generally command their husbands as if they are indentured slaves with no agency to act for themselves, but only to be acted upon. I've seen many a dog that are treated better than most husbands of Mormon women out there.
Allow me to submit that I absolutely despise being told what to do. I'm okay with being asked to do something, but when someone commands and expects me to obey, the uncensored words, "F-ck you!" will eventually come from my lips. The Gospel teaches that we have agency and that the spirit of love will ask and exhort a man or woman to do things and never seek to force and extort. And I'm all about the Gospel.
To sum it all up, I have a really distorted view of marriage, how it has fit into my life so far, and how it might continue to be a part of my life. The marriages I've seen have not been pleasant in my eyes. I'm sure that the people who are in those relationships are happy, but I would not be happy in their shoes. I'm really unsure about how I will be able to view women and marriage in the future. I try to retain optimism, but it doesn't seem to come very easily. We'll see how it goes...
Friday, July 16, 2010
SWOT Analysis of my Life
Recently in both my marketing and HR classes, we've talked about "SWOT Analysis." This method of analyzing a business looks at the both the internal factors of a business' potential progress (strengths and weaknesses) and the external factors (opportunities and threats). I figure that at this juncture, it really couldn't hurt to do this kind of analysis for my own life to help me to attain both my relatively short-term goals and my more long term goals. Some of these goals include: getting a job for after college, getting married, being a halfway decent person both morally and socially, and achieving exaltation and eternal life after this life is said and done. Certainly not an inclusive list of goals but a good start... Anywho, on to the analysis:
Strengths
*It's probably best that I don't know who this douchebag is, because I would find him and shank him in the face with a red-hot cast iron prison shiv.
Strengths
- Pure Intelligence - It was Marion Morrison who said, "Life is hard, and it's even harder if you're stupid." In my case, I have intelligence on the order of about 4.5 standard deviations above average and it will serve me well in achieving almost all of my goals, as long as I don't begin to suppose that I'm smarter than God, that's always a dangerous path.
- In the Long-term, a Useful Degree - Though right now I kind of feel like I've been getting a very-much-more-difficult-than-usual BA in English for the last 4 years, after the Great Depression v2.0 passes, my degree will actually regain value and I should... SHOULD be able to actually find good jobs that will pay reasonably well.
- My Testimony - I don't feel bad telling all 4 people who read my blag that is says in my patriarchal blessing that my testimony will become a cherished possession. While this hasn't happened yet, I at least know, on the most basic level possible that The Christ is the redeemer of my soul and that the Eternal God loves me whether I feel it or not. And along with this knowledge come hope for the future in this life and hope for the things of a better world, as Ether put it.
- Social Awkwardness - Based on the way my parents raised me, it's almost a miracle that I made it out of high school alive. People who know me well can tell you that I have virtually negligible shame and am likely to say and do things that will make you feel awkward in social situations; and Aric F@$$w@$$ was even willing to give me an award in the same. This lack of PCness is also combined with the fact that I'm an engineer and have spent several hours a day for the past 4 years in the Clyde Building and just generally that I'm a Mormon. It all adds up to quite a bit of social awkwardness.
- Lack of RM Badge - Serving a full-time, proselyting mission is an absolute right of passage for young men in the LDS Church. Most young, LDS men will tell you that their mission was the "Best two year of their life." I didn't have those two years. I'm perfect willing to admit that ever since I didn't go on a mission, I've had a harder time finding sufficient motivation to live the gospel as I know it to be true. Even the temple of God itself has become a house of remorse and lamentation... and full of old, pretentious douchebags who ask any dude in the baptismal font when he's going on a mission. Also, if you'd told me when I was 18 that first dates could be more awkward than they already were, I would have laughed you to scorn. However the standard first date question, "Where did you serve your mission?" has done a disturbingly good job proving 18-year-old me wrong.
- Insanity - You might think that I'm joking and/or exaggerating when I say that I'm friggin' crazy. I would submit that you're only right some of the time. As an update to my last post, I am not qualified for Army OCS because I've been treating for chemical imbalances in my brain. I don't know if the Air Force has similar qualification standards... it hasn't come up. In some very limited contexts, being crazy might help me to obtain my goals, but for the most part, it's just a hindrance and a limitation as far as I can tell.
- Physical Fitness - The 89th section of the Doctrine and Covenants says that those who abide by its precepts will be able to run and not be weary. I've clearly not been following that counsel very well. A lack of physical fitness could very well keep me out of the military for good and is certainly not an asset when trying attract a potential spouse. In the long term, I could end up living like my Grandpa on my dad's side who has had at least 5 heart attacks of varying severity and can barely get up out of chair without being short of breath.
- Cars and Money - If, by the grace of God, I am actually blessed to find a job in my chosen field, I will, for pretty much the first time in my life, be able to afford a car and not live below the poverty line. This will give me much greater opportunity to have fun, do good in the world, and maybe, just maybe the benefits of dating might exceed the social and emotion costs. And if you haven't seen the Good Charlotte Song, you should. PS-The video for that song looks suspiciously like the Single Adults dance that I saw 5 minutes of in Cedar City.
- HDR & RKCI - Probably my best opportunities for employment are with HDR in Denver and with RKCI in the Utah Valley. A few weeks ago, I talked with one of the PM's for HDR who lives in my stake back home and he said that they recently got the contract to design an extension of the light rail system in Denver and they would need to staff that soon. Anyone who has driven through Lehi, UT over the past few weeks has noticed that there's massive construction going on on I-15 in this area. To most this in an inconvenience, but to me it is a sign of sweet, glorious progress. RKCI won the contract to oversee quality control on the I-15 core designs and has been hiring recent graduates in Civil Engineering and Construction Management.
- Women - Over the past several weeks, I've met several women who I'd like to get to know better, which doesn't necessarily happen very often. Let me just say that my current ward is freaking awesome and I wouldn't mind living around here for several more years, even if it meant living in an insect-infested dump. I'm sure that there are nice women all around, but dang, Hampton Court is where it's at. :D
- Crapconomy - I never would have thought in 2002, when I decided that I wanted to become a civil engineer that some douchebag* would enact AA reform that was meant to give minorities a better opportunity for home ownership, but really just allowed I-banker types to speculate in the housing market. Since this actually did happen, the demand for Civil Engineers has shifted down significantly as those who were working in private development move to whatever projects are left and government infrastructure spending nationwide grinds to a halt. What it all adds up to in 2010 is that anyone without 5 years experience and/or a masters degree isn't going to find a job in civil engineering very easily anytime soon.
- Obamacare - Sometimes I wonder if Barack Obama sits in the Oval Office and thinks, "Hmm, how can I screw over William 'The Hands' White today?" I'm sure that Obamacare benefits somebody (who's probably black, btw) ,but it's certainly not me. Since my health care provider knows that it will have to cover more prospective college graduates soon under Obamacare, it's getting rid of the ones it has now in order to cut its losses. Additionally, uncertainty in the future of health care is making its costs increase, making something that was unaffordable two years ago, ridiculously expensive. With the crapconomy the way it is, if I don't have a job in the next month, I'm not going to have any health insurance... period, and I will be thoroughly Ephed. PS-Vote Republican.
- Militant Feminazism - Over the past few years, I've liked to say, "If chivalry is dead, it was choked out by the smoke of flaming bras," or something like that. More recent generations of women seem to feel entitled to an equal opportunity, and even worse, equal outcome with their male counterparts without sharing in any of the negative aspects or burdens. My generation, in the world, seems to like to minimize and reduce as much as possible the differentiation between men and women. The Latter-day Saints of my generation seem to do the same thing, but to a much lesser degree (ie. without militaristic enforcement) and only picking and choosing the situations in which women should be indifferentiable from men. Overall, militant feminazism is the greatest threat to my desire and ability to procure a spouse... and I might just have to devote an entire blag post to my views on it.
*It's probably best that I don't know who this douchebag is, because I would find him and shank him in the face with a red-hot cast iron prison shiv.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Boo Downward Shift in Aggregate Demand, Hooray Beer!
So, just in case you've been living in Outer Kreplachistan, Haiti, or the abysmal depths of the Congo for the last year or so, the United States and most of the developed world have been going through a big-A recession. Whatever you believe the cause of this recession may be, I would like to submit right now that the wallets of everyone not named Barack H. Obama are pretty tightly sealed. It's actually China that really providing the capital, but that's tertiary. My point is that trying to find any source of cash, whether it's a g-o-b, or just selling off your Earthly possessions is a bit rough. In my case, I picked a really bad time to graduate from college and actually try to find a job.
Over the course of the past few weeks, I've been trying to come up with something of a Plan B that would actually be feasible in case I don't find a job by August. Previously, the only real alternatives that I could come up with were going to graduate school right after I finish my undergraduate degree or being drastically underemployed for some period of time until I could find a real job. Long story short; both of these options suck. Practically all of the grad school application deadlines for fall semester have evaporated and I don't have the cash to wait until January and starting on a Winter/Spring semester. Not to mention that I wouldn't have any cash for school and my course sequencing would be shot. Furthermore, I shouldn't need to mention that I really don't want to work at Dick's Sporting Goods while I wait for the economy to recover.
A few days ago I thought of a new option that I hadn't particularly considered before but seems to be more and more viable with each employment rejection email that I get. Since, at this point, I could literally withdraw from all of my summer classes and still get a bachelor's degree, I am now contemplating completing officer training/candidate school (OTS) and going into the military as a engineer officer. As I previously mentioned, this is still a Plan B. If I can find a civil engineering job in the private sector that I actually want, I'll almost undoubtedly take that over going in the military. However, I turned in 6 job applications this last Saturday and got 4 rejection emails by Monday afternoon. As the title of this post implies, there's just nothing out there. That being said, there is a definite question of which branch of the military I would want to go into if it came down to that. Since the Marines doesn't have engineers, I can't swim very well, and Navy engineers are called "Seabees," (literally, I'm not making this up, see Wikipedia) it pretty much comes down to the Army or the Air Force. A Pro-Con analysis follows:
Army:
PRO:
PRO:
Over the course of the past few weeks, I've been trying to come up with something of a Plan B that would actually be feasible in case I don't find a job by August. Previously, the only real alternatives that I could come up with were going to graduate school right after I finish my undergraduate degree or being drastically underemployed for some period of time until I could find a real job. Long story short; both of these options suck. Practically all of the grad school application deadlines for fall semester have evaporated and I don't have the cash to wait until January and starting on a Winter/Spring semester. Not to mention that I wouldn't have any cash for school and my course sequencing would be shot. Furthermore, I shouldn't need to mention that I really don't want to work at Dick's Sporting Goods while I wait for the economy to recover.
A few days ago I thought of a new option that I hadn't particularly considered before but seems to be more and more viable with each employment rejection email that I get. Since, at this point, I could literally withdraw from all of my summer classes and still get a bachelor's degree, I am now contemplating completing officer training/candidate school (OTS) and going into the military as a engineer officer. As I previously mentioned, this is still a Plan B. If I can find a civil engineering job in the private sector that I actually want, I'll almost undoubtedly take that over going in the military. However, I turned in 6 job applications this last Saturday and got 4 rejection emails by Monday afternoon. As the title of this post implies, there's just nothing out there. That being said, there is a definite question of which branch of the military I would want to go into if it came down to that. Since the Marines doesn't have engineers, I can't swim very well, and Navy engineers are called "Seabees," (literally, I'm not making this up, see Wikipedia) it pretty much comes down to the Army or the Air Force. A Pro-Con analysis follows:
Army:
PRO:
- I would get experience with two of the things I'm most passionate about relative to engineering: bridges and blowing stuff up.
- The Army generally has more openings and therefore easier placement for an engineer officer MOS.
- Connections in the Army Corps of Engineers definitely wouldn't hurt my career aspirations after I got out.
- I like the Army's uniforms.
- The pay for a second lieutenant with less than two years in is about 10% ($3000) higher.
- Designing infrastructure that helps troops advance often involves being IN FRONT of the front lines. Death or dismemberment is much more likely.
- I'd have to be almost 20 lbs lighter than I am right now in order to make weight.
- You get thrown into basic with all the other goons, even if you're going in as an officer.
PRO:
- Both of my parents were in the Air Force; in fact, that's how they met. As such, I've been raised liking the Air Force, rooting for the AFA in football, etc.
- Especially now, the Air Force seems to have plenty of opportunities for engineers and others with technical backgrounds, though not as many.
- Ironically, there are people with the title "Civil Engineer" in the Air Force.
- I'd only have to drop about 5 or 10 pounds to make weight.
- Seeing as the United States hasn't really conceded air superiority since World War II, the chances of death or dismemberment are greatly reduced.
- The Air Force's OTS program is like an integration of basic training and officer training. Not quite as much getting backslapped by TIs.
- I already know the US Air Force song.
- The pay isn't as good, though sufficient.
- Dang, those uniforms are ugly.
- Assuming I was commissioned as an engineer, I'd probably be working on projects that I'd be somewhat less excited about, namely environmental.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Scar[r]ed Straight
So, over the last couple of days, some of my good friends/roommates went down to Cedar City for the Utah Summer Games to compete in Ultimate Frisbee. We were in the novice division, and ended up getting the silver medal in that division. We played 4 games of Ultimate on Friday, then another 2 Saturday. All of this was awesome, and now I feel like my hamstrings are going to explode out of the back of my legs. However, that's not the point of this post.
I told you that story so that I could tell you this story. As we were driving through Cedar City, we passed a stake center/seminary building right next to a high school that had a sign out in front that read, "Single Adult Dance Tonight from 9-12." Since all of our games that day ended at about 2 pm, we decided that it was at least worth taking a look, even if all of the girls were 18 years old. After we got through 8 dudes showering in a single bathroom (sequentially), had dinner, and did a couple of other things, we made our way to aforementioned stake center.
What followed may have been the single most disturbing 5-minute experience I've ever had. Let's just say that there were definitely no 18 year-old girls anywhere to be found. And let's add that there's a very important distinction between "Young Single Adults," and "Single Adults." Though this experience only lasted about 5 minutes, if that, it seemed like it unfolded over a couple of hours. I started to get a little suspicious when we walked in to the stake center and there were a couple of older people dressed nicely and conversing amongst themselves. I figured that these were merely chaperons there to supervise the goings on of the young people. As we progressed down the hall, we say more and more old people who were dressed progressively more like young people, several of which were checking us out. As we stopped for a drink of water and saw several other old people passing us and walking into the cultural hall, we all realized the distinction that we had missed and ran as fast as we could without revealing our actual intents. On a scale of 1 to disturbing, this experience was a "Hey, you're not a Catholic Priest, don't touch me there!"
What I take away from this experience is mostly that I never want to be in the situation that I saw those other people my parents' (or perhaps my grandparents in some cases) age in. "Single Adults," are just creepy and I just don't want to be a part of that. If it involves mail-ordering a bride at age 30, then so be it. (Admittedly a very much less than ideal option.) Let's just say that this experience has given me sufficient motivation to actually want to get married at some point, and to procrastinate such a decision as little as possible. You're probably not going to see me rushing out to get married tomorrow, or any time in the next couple of months, but I've decided that marriage is something that I want to work toward and to be a part of. :D
I told you that story so that I could tell you this story. As we were driving through Cedar City, we passed a stake center/seminary building right next to a high school that had a sign out in front that read, "Single Adult Dance Tonight from 9-12." Since all of our games that day ended at about 2 pm, we decided that it was at least worth taking a look, even if all of the girls were 18 years old. After we got through 8 dudes showering in a single bathroom (sequentially), had dinner, and did a couple of other things, we made our way to aforementioned stake center.
What followed may have been the single most disturbing 5-minute experience I've ever had. Let's just say that there were definitely no 18 year-old girls anywhere to be found. And let's add that there's a very important distinction between "Young Single Adults," and "Single Adults." Though this experience only lasted about 5 minutes, if that, it seemed like it unfolded over a couple of hours. I started to get a little suspicious when we walked in to the stake center and there were a couple of older people dressed nicely and conversing amongst themselves. I figured that these were merely chaperons there to supervise the goings on of the young people. As we progressed down the hall, we say more and more old people who were dressed progressively more like young people, several of which were checking us out. As we stopped for a drink of water and saw several other old people passing us and walking into the cultural hall, we all realized the distinction that we had missed and ran as fast as we could without revealing our actual intents. On a scale of 1 to disturbing, this experience was a "Hey, you're not a Catholic Priest, don't touch me there!"
What I take away from this experience is mostly that I never want to be in the situation that I saw those other people my parents' (or perhaps my grandparents in some cases) age in. "Single Adults," are just creepy and I just don't want to be a part of that. If it involves mail-ordering a bride at age 30, then so be it. (Admittedly a very much less than ideal option.) Let's just say that this experience has given me sufficient motivation to actually want to get married at some point, and to procrastinate such a decision as little as possible. You're probably not going to see me rushing out to get married tomorrow, or any time in the next couple of months, but I've decided that marriage is something that I want to work toward and to be a part of. :D
Saturday, June 19, 2010
A Little Too [Personal]
Tonight as I was perusing through Yahoo!'s "News" (very little of which is actual news) I found This Article. I found the parody of a personal ad at the beginning to be H-I-larious. I will now prepare my own "checklist" parody for both your and my amusement:
Me: 21. 6'2", 220 lbs. Hanging around the Provo area for now, but looking forward to big things (and by things, I mean money) in the very near future from my prospective employment as a civil engineer.
You: 18-23, BYU graduate or prospective MRS. Maximum 5'11" and BMI 18.5-22.5. Member of the church, but not an RM. Able to show knowledge of US federal and state policies and provide documentation of voting in at least the last even-yeared election. A second amendment sister. Major: Biology, Exercise Science, Business (not Accounting), Communication Disorders, French, or Rec Management. Education majors must complete an exam demonstrating that they can "do" as opposed to only being able to "teach." Hobbies: Italian-style cooking, video games, motorcycling, fencing, and chess. Well informed in the topics of: American sports, muscle cars, Dilbert cartoon strips, contemporary science fiction, and classic '80s cinema. Poorly informed (except in the cases of mockery) in the topics of: Vampire romance novels, Britney Spears music, Schmoop Dogg (aka Adam Nicoll), The Princess Bride, ballroom dancing, and cooking with tofu. Equally comfortable wearing 6" heals and plain white tennis shoes.
If interested, please send introductory email with appropriate documentation and a full-body photo. Please also send, as soon as possible, (3) letters of recommendation ( 1 academic, 1 ecclesiastical, and 1 from moderately close male friend). Plus (2) 1000-or-less-word essays on the following topics: "How I know my parents love(d) me", and "The University of Utah Sucks because..."
Yeah, I think that should pretty much do it. If I ever met a woman like this, she would never be interested in me because: 1. I would crap my pants upon meeting her, leaving a very bad impression, and 2. Unless she was 18, and fresh out of high school, she'd already be married, which means that 3. She would definitely not be using online dating sites. The thing that I most take away from this blag is that I need to blag about BMI... :D
Me: 21. 6'2", 220 lbs. Hanging around the Provo area for now, but looking forward to big things (and by things, I mean money) in the very near future from my prospective employment as a civil engineer.
You: 18-23, BYU graduate or prospective MRS. Maximum 5'11" and BMI 18.5-22.5. Member of the church, but not an RM. Able to show knowledge of US federal and state policies and provide documentation of voting in at least the last even-yeared election. A second amendment sister. Major: Biology, Exercise Science, Business (not Accounting), Communication Disorders, French, or Rec Management. Education majors must complete an exam demonstrating that they can "do" as opposed to only being able to "teach." Hobbies: Italian-style cooking, video games, motorcycling, fencing, and chess. Well informed in the topics of: American sports, muscle cars, Dilbert cartoon strips, contemporary science fiction, and classic '80s cinema. Poorly informed (except in the cases of mockery) in the topics of: Vampire romance novels, Britney Spears music, Schmoop Dogg (aka Adam Nicoll), The Princess Bride, ballroom dancing, and cooking with tofu. Equally comfortable wearing 6" heals and plain white tennis shoes.
If interested, please send introductory email with appropriate documentation and a full-body photo. Please also send, as soon as possible, (3) letters of recommendation ( 1 academic, 1 ecclesiastical, and 1 from moderately close male friend). Plus (2) 1000-or-less-word essays on the following topics: "How I know my parents love(d) me", and "The University of Utah Sucks because..."
Yeah, I think that should pretty much do it. If I ever met a woman like this, she would never be interested in me because: 1. I would crap my pants upon meeting her, leaving a very bad impression, and 2. Unless she was 18, and fresh out of high school, she'd already be married, which means that 3. She would definitely not be using online dating sites. The thing that I most take away from this blag is that I need to blag about BMI... :D
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Omission(s)
In my recent post, "On a Scale of 1 to Evil..." I chronicled many of my qualms with BYU's Math department. Nevertheless, there are a couple of very important stories that I neglected to include in that post. So, here they are...
The math classes that I took at BYU included Linear Algebra, Multivariable Calculus, and Ordinary Differential Equations, in that order. I had been anxiously anticipating the day of my Differential Equations final since about the second week of linear algebra, when I decided that I was going to take as little math at BYU as possible since BYU math exemplified all things evil. On the day of the final, I walked in to 111 Talmage Building with about a B in the class up to that point (the class was epicurved, so you really didn't know until the end.) I took the final and figured that I did pretty poorly, but didn't really care because I was SO excited to be done. As I ran out of the Talmage Building, I held my hands over my head and yelled out loud, "Freedom! Sweet freedom! You are mine at last!" I ran out of the Talmage Building incredibly contented to be done. I was living at the Riviera Apartments at the time, and I got about there before I realized that I had made a tragic error. In my rush to exit the Talmage Building once and for all, I had left the glasses I was wearing at the time in 111. I made my way back with my head held in shame and said as I entered that room, "Blast, freedom eludes me once more." After I had claimed my glasses, I walked out the Talmage Building once and for all, and have not entered into it again.
A few days after that sweet, sweet event I got my score for the differential equations final. This class was at least partially administered through BYU Math's incredible stupid and mostly worthless "Moodle" website. (And you see that creativity of BYU mathematicians coming up with a website name; it sounds like a name you give to a manicured French Poodle.) So, a few days after the final, Brianna Durham, who is now Brianna West, btw, Crackbook chatted me to tell me that the scores were up for both the final exam and the class. I looked on the stupid Moodle website and found that I had a score of 98 on the final. I said to myself, "Wow, that's a great score, I must have done better than I thought!" ...Then I remembered that the differential equations final was out of 200 points. Suddenly I found myself hoping that I had merely passed the class. As I scrolled down, I found that I had made like a 72, or something like that in the class overall, which was good enough for a C+. To this day, a 49 is still the lowest test score I've ever had. So, BYU Math is responsible for both my lowest overall grade (Linear Algebra: C) and my lowest test score.
BYU Math has made a lasting impression on me (and on my transcripts) in probably the worst way possible. This department has been responsible for my lowest scores in all of my school work. I haven't done any regression analysis, but I believe that the difference between my average scores and my BYU Math scores is statistically significant. I believe that sometimes people and things are but in your way to try your faith and your patience. Both several of current home teachees and BYU Math fit into that category. If it was up to me, I'd disband BYU Math, fire all of the professors and department chairs on the grounds of apostasy and start over with people who are willing to follow Gospel principles... Maybe that's why it's not up to me. :)
The math classes that I took at BYU included Linear Algebra, Multivariable Calculus, and Ordinary Differential Equations, in that order. I had been anxiously anticipating the day of my Differential Equations final since about the second week of linear algebra, when I decided that I was going to take as little math at BYU as possible since BYU math exemplified all things evil. On the day of the final, I walked in to 111 Talmage Building with about a B in the class up to that point (the class was epicurved, so you really didn't know until the end.) I took the final and figured that I did pretty poorly, but didn't really care because I was SO excited to be done. As I ran out of the Talmage Building, I held my hands over my head and yelled out loud, "Freedom! Sweet freedom! You are mine at last!" I ran out of the Talmage Building incredibly contented to be done. I was living at the Riviera Apartments at the time, and I got about there before I realized that I had made a tragic error. In my rush to exit the Talmage Building once and for all, I had left the glasses I was wearing at the time in 111. I made my way back with my head held in shame and said as I entered that room, "Blast, freedom eludes me once more." After I had claimed my glasses, I walked out the Talmage Building once and for all, and have not entered into it again.
A few days after that sweet, sweet event I got my score for the differential equations final. This class was at least partially administered through BYU Math's incredible stupid and mostly worthless "Moodle" website. (And you see that creativity of BYU mathematicians coming up with a website name; it sounds like a name you give to a manicured French Poodle.) So, a few days after the final, Brianna Durham, who is now Brianna West, btw, Crackbook chatted me to tell me that the scores were up for both the final exam and the class. I looked on the stupid Moodle website and found that I had a score of 98 on the final. I said to myself, "Wow, that's a great score, I must have done better than I thought!" ...Then I remembered that the differential equations final was out of 200 points. Suddenly I found myself hoping that I had merely passed the class. As I scrolled down, I found that I had made like a 72, or something like that in the class overall, which was good enough for a C+. To this day, a 49 is still the lowest test score I've ever had. So, BYU Math is responsible for both my lowest overall grade (Linear Algebra: C) and my lowest test score.
BYU Math has made a lasting impression on me (and on my transcripts) in probably the worst way possible. This department has been responsible for my lowest scores in all of my school work. I haven't done any regression analysis, but I believe that the difference between my average scores and my BYU Math scores is statistically significant. I believe that sometimes people and things are but in your way to try your faith and your patience. Both several of current home teachees and BYU Math fit into that category. If it was up to me, I'd disband BYU Math, fire all of the professors and department chairs on the grounds of apostasy and start over with people who are willing to follow Gospel principles... Maybe that's why it's not up to me. :)
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