Tracting

My relationships with women have always been awkward... that shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. But some of the encounters I have with the opposite gender genuinely qualify as mega-awkward. Once again, I've found that I've fallen victim to what I like to call the, "Day Late and a Dollar Short Phenomenon." Just let me give you a typical conversation involving Day Late and a Dollar Short:

Me: "So [Random Woman], I have two tickets to [insert event here], would you like to come with me?"
Random Woman: "Oh, that's really sweet of you, and I'm really flattered, and I'd totally go, but I'm actually going out with someone else right now."
Me: "Oh, well on your facebook profile it says that you're single."
RW: "Yeah, I should really change that."
Me: "Yeah. So, how long have you been with this guy?"
RW: "Uh, about 3 days."
Me: Holy $h17!!! "Well that's cool, good for you."
RW: "Thanks, good luck finding someone..."

And this isn't an isolated incident. It's happened at least 4 times, essentially the same way... one woman actually married the guy she was going out with. Sometimes I wonder if I'm only attracted to women who are producing pheromones, but just don't realize it until a week later than most men... it's not entirely out of the question. Ironically all of these instances occurred when I was trying to find a date to a specific event... all of them events that required tickets. So, in the end I am eventually relegated to knocking on the doors of random women in my ward looking for someone to go with me. I am quite literally tracting for dates...

Thank You Dr. Chapman

As anyone who reads my blag should know, I took a class in LDS Marriage and Family last semester, (I mean I only wrote 3 posts about my classes.) During this class, I was exposed to a book called "The Five Languages of Love," by Dr. Gary Chapman. After hearing about this book in class, I knew I wanted to learn more about Dr. Chapman's theories on love and relationships, so I visited his website and bought his book. Well, now I've more or less finished that book and I'd like to share a few things that I've learned about myself and my relationships with people after reading it. The rest of this post will be written assuming you have some familiarity with the book and its concepts. If you're not familiar with it, feel free to visit the link above.

Things I've learned from reading this book:

1. My love language is definitely physical touch.

There's really nothing that speaks love to me like a good hug or other appropriate touching. I'd probably fall for just about any woman (reserving veto power) who reaches out and touches me. I also feel a certain amount of love from words of affirmation or quality time, but those pale in comparison to the love I can feel through physical touch.

2. Just because you feel loved doesn't mean she's "the one."

After reading this book, I realized why I fell for both of my ex-fiancées. And yes, I've been engaged twice before, talk to me privately if you really want more details. Both of these women were "touchy feely" women who really enjoyed hugs and kisses and the like. In retrospect, I think both of their primary love languages were physical touch as well, which often works out well except... Both of these women also had emotional issues that probably should have left me running fast and far yelling, "Get away from me psycho!" all the way.

3. There's a reason my love language is physical touch.

In Dr. Chapman's book, he says that we often learn our primary love language from our parents and how they love us. When I first heard this, I thought it was strange, because I really don't think my parents touched me or each other all that often while I was growing up. However, after I thought about it for a while, I realized that physical touch was really the only way that my parents expressed love to me while I was growing up, even though there wasn't that much of it going around. There were certainly no words of affirmation or acts of service going around. We gave gifts, but this was usually accompanied by, "D@mM!+ Charlotte! How much did you spend on this $h1+!" We also had quality time, as Dr. Chapman defines it, though it was usually accompanied by, "D@mM!+ Gary, you're an ephing Pr1ck, I hate your guts!" Though there wasn't a lot of touching, it was the only way that love was really expressed in my home growing up.

4. My dating habits (and lack thereof) have an emotional root.

When a man is taking a woman (especially a Mormon woman) on a first date, there are some things that would be totally appropriate, and some things that just wouldn't. For example, it would be perfectly appropriate for a man to tell his date that she looks pretty, to open a door for her, or to bring her a gift of some sort. Inasmuch as the date itself is quality time, this pretty much covers the first 4 love languages. Would be appropriate, on a first date, to take your date in a swift embrace, and kiss her? In some cases it might, but for the most part, no. People (especially Mormon people) tend to establish that physical touch necessarily implies a continuing commitment. I understand the reasoning behind this, but that really doesn't help me. What it really comes down to is that I have a really hard time feeling any degree of love on first, second, third, etc. dates because it's just not socially acceptable to express love in my language that early in a relationship. And without that emotional connection, dating becomes little more than a hassle and a burden.

5. It is important for me to know that I am loved, even if I don't feel it.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, The One You Wish Was the One, I often have a morbidly obese shoulder devil yelling in my ear, saying that no one will ever love me. I genuinely believe that this is because I don't often feel loved since people are usually reluctant to touch me. Though I often feel as if no one really cares about me, I've been able to realize that there are diverse ways of expressing love, and have been able to recognize people's sincere efforts to express their love for me. I also have better come to realize that there is an Eternal God in Heaven who loves me and wants the best for me. Even though it will be a long time before I can touch Him, I know that my eternal soul is of great worth in His sight.

PS-I hope this post wasn't too squishy or emo for anyone... That's not really how I was trying to come off. :)

Final Analysis

This post is a follow-up on two previous posts, respectively titled Extrapolation and Interpolation.

So, as the fall semester has been brought to a close, I shall review my feelings on the classes that I took and the grades I received.

CE En 321, Structural Analysis, Grade- A: As forecast, this class was actually pretty fun. I enjoyed learning about a few old topics, as well as quite a few new ones. As can be supposed by the 'A' I received, I really understood and pwned most of the problems that I faced. The only thing that I appeared to struggle with was the flexibility method in beams and frames. Does anyone really use this method to analyze beams and frames? I submit that they do not. Despite the fact that Dr Balling calls the books for this class "big packs of lies," (which is an exaggeration) I just can't discount the knowledge I've gained about small, static, skeletal, linear structures. In the words of Dr Benzeley, "How many people on earth can analyze statically indeterminate structures?"

CE En 305A, Metals, Woods, and Composites, Grade- A: I think the summary I gave in the post Interpolation basically sums it up, though my opinion of Dr Dumb@$$ has lowered slightly based on the fact that it took him 6 weeks to actually figure out our grades.

CE En 305B, Concrete, Masonry, and Asphalt, Grade- A-: It seemed like this class was more like a 3-day seminar than an actual class. With the Thanksgiving break right in the middle of the block, it made class periods relatively few. For the most part, I enjoyed learning about aggregates, concrete, CMUs, and asphalt. The lab for this class was graded a little anally and the TAs had little or no accountability in giving capricious grades to students. I think the most valuable lesson that I learned in the course of this class was to avoid working on a team with the guy who doesn't speak fluent English. My grades for the 3 labs were: 87, 77, and 90. Can you guess on which one I worked with a non-English speaker?

CE En 562, Traffic Engineering, Grade- B+: Speaking of non-English speakers, I'm rather content to be done taking classes from Dr Saito. He's a really nice guy, and knows his stuff, but it doesn't make much difference when you don't understand what he's saying half the time. I think I learned some important concepts of traffic flow theory as well as the effects of roadway characteristics on traffic flow. I also learned that graduate-level classes devour one's time like a redneck at an all-you-can-eat Hot Pocket buffet. Though I didn't think that the concepts were too difficult, this class should have been about 7 credit hours, which didn't mesh too well with my additional 13.5 credit hours. If I end up taking another grad-level class as an undergrad, it will most surely be while I'm taking a somewhat lighter course load.

Bio 100, Principles of Biology, Grade- A-: The fact that Sister Jefferies gave the class the final beforehand to study makes me wish that I hadn't given her such a low student rating. However, I have talked to one of my friends while he was studying for his Bio 100 final, and realized that I had no clue what he was talking about. This class was disorganized, redundant, and often capricious in the way it was presented. The TAs seemed to know what they were doing, the instructor, however, did not. And I kind of got the feeling that she hated men too...but that could just be me.

Rel C 234, LDS Marriage and Family, Grade- A: Looking back, I'm glad that I took this class. There were quite a few topics that I just didn't learn, or didn't learn properly in my home and am glad that I was exposed to here. I was also exposed to Dr Gary Chapman's book, The Five Languages of Love, which has given me new perspective on all of my relationships with people. Additionally, the A that I barely squeaked out in this class continues my streak of 5 A's in 5 religion classes.

Bus M 380, Executive Lectures, Grade- A: I definitely learned a lot from the lectures of people who have been successful in the world of business. If I were to attend 200 executive lectures, there would probably be 200 different formulae for success in the world of business. However, there were a few constants: testimony, drive/motivation, passion, putting aside of pride, as well as a few others. I kept a notebook full of notes in this class entitled, "You Know Who Else Didn't Go to Business School? LeBron James!... Tracy McGrady." I think this book contains quite a few words of wisdom and will continue to be added to throughout the years to improve on what I have already.

CE En 300A, Stupid Semen-ar, Grade- B+: Yeah, it's definitely still stupid. Though after this semester, I no longer have to take notes in stupid Semen-ar... I get to trade them for papers... Thus, next semester brings, "Even Stupider Semen-ar."

In case you're wondering, these grades add up to a semester GPA of 3.78 and bring my overall GPA to exactly 3.50, which is pretty impressive considering its state after BYU math was done with it. I can genuinely say that I enjoyed this semester, not only because of the high grades that I received, but also because I learned many things that will be valuable in my future jobs as well as my life in general. It's also been re-emphasized to me that I truly enjoy civil engineering and it is, more or less, my calling in life. Let me just say that it's a pretty good feeling to know that you made the right career choice in the 8th grade.