So, yesterday in my Technical Writing class, we were asked by our instructor to write a letter about being rear-ended near Point of the Mountain. Why would you get rear-ended on the interstate? I don't know, but I ran with it. Half the class was asked to write the letter to a loved one, while the other half was asked to write to their insurance company. The point of the exercise was to see the difference in letters that had similar topics when the audience changed, but that's mostly irrelevant. Here's the one I wrote:
Dear Liahona Insurance, Inc.,
I was traveling to Babylon yesterday afternoon to visit Temple Square when I was rear-ended, just north of Lehi by a dirty Spyewt fan. Apparently, he was feeling covetous after another miraculous, last-second victory by BYU's football team, and my BYU license plate frame set him off. After exiting his vehicle, spewing forth expletives, he raised his fist as if to punch me, but was struck dead in the very act. Since my vehicle sustained a sheared frame and his was still in relatively good condition, I drove away with his. I tried to contact his loved ones to see if anyone would want to pick up his vehicle, but his cell phone had no contacts and his facebook profile read, "-1 Friends." I'm still not quite sure how that worked out.
Now the only tasks are removing the smell of body odor, tequila, and formaldehyde from the vehicle, as well as all of the University of Utah paraphernalia. I am contacting you to take care of the minor damage to the bumper, grill, and hood of the vehicle, as well as to get the vehicle painted cougar blue. The original scarlet color had changed in places to more of a fluorescent pink, with all the alcohol that's been spilled on it.
Please get back to me as soon as possible. Go Cougars.
William White
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