Gotta Say, That's Not Really a Stretch

I was originally going to post this thought as a Crackbook status, so this blag post will be short:

Throughout the day, both yesterday night and today, people have been commenting via various forms of media about their surprise that The Book of Mormon musical won a boatload of Tony Awards. I don't find this surprising at all. In fact, I knew that it was going to clean house at the Tonys from the moment that I saw Trey Parker and Matt Stone on Letterman a few months back promoting it. Let's examine the evidence, shall we:

• The Tony Awards have become what amounts to a homosexual political action committee that uses the medium of musical and dance theater. In other words the Tonys are run by the gay community.
  
• The Mormons pushed Proposition 8 during the 2008 political elections. This proposition was widely deemed anti-gay and the homosexual community has been unhappy about it ever since.
• The Book of Mormon musical makes fun of Mormons using one of the favorite media of the homosexual community, musical theater.

QED - Trey Parker and Matt Stone have to hire a mover to carry all their Tony Awards.

And just as a disclaimer, this post is not anti-gay nor is it anti-Mormon. It merely explains why no one should have been that surprised that the BOM musical pwned at the Tonys.

I Clearly Have Too Much Time On My Hands

...because I just ranked all of the classes I took as an undergrad. The format is: Class Code - Class Name: Instructor, Term, Grade.

1. CE En 421 - Structural Steel Design: Paul Richards, Winter 2010, A
2. CE En 321 - Structural Analysis: Rick Balling, Fall 2009, A
3. CE En 341 - Elementary Soil Mechanics: Travis Gerber, Winter 2010, A-
4. CE En 332 - Hydraulics and Fluid Flow Theory: Rollin Hotchkiss, Winter 2009, A-
5. Rel A 121 - Book of Mormon: Camille Fronk-Olsen, Fall 2007, A
6. Acc 200 - Principles of Accounting: Norm Nemrow, Winter 2010, A
7. Bus M 380 - Executive Lectures: Cheryl McBeth, Fall 2009, A
   
8. Ex Sc 116 - Beginning Bowling: The Asian Dude, Spring 2009, A
9. CE En 204 - Dynamics: Dr. C, Fall 2008, A-
10. CE En 112 - Engineering Graphics and CAD: Clyne Curtis, Fall 2007, A
11. CE En 103 - Statics: Dr. C, Fall 2007, A-
    
12. Geol 330 - Geology for Engineers: Randy Skinner, Spring 2008, A-
13. Rel C 234 - LDS Marriage and Family: Kent Brooks, Fall 2008, A
14. Stat 221 - Principles of Statistics: Perpetua Nielsen, Spring 2008, A
15. Math 112 - Calculus I: Don't Remember, Fall 2006, A
16. CE En 461 - Geometric Design of Highways: Mitsuru Saito, Spring 2008, A-
17. Rel A 212 - New Testament: Camille Fronk-Olsen, Winter 2009, A
18. CE En 424 - Reinforced Concrete Design: Paul Richards, Spring 2010, B+
19. CE En 433 - Hydraulic Engineering: Wood Miller, Spring 2009, B+
20. CE En 305A - Metals, Woods, and Composites: Dave Jensen, Fall 2009, A
21. CE En 203 - Mechanics of Materials: Dr. C, Winter 2008, A-
22. CE En 305B - Concrete, Masonry, and Asphalt: Spencer Guthrie, Fall 2009, A-
23. Rel C 324 - Doctrine and Covenants: Guy Dorius, Fall 2008, A
24. Econ 110 - Econ Principles and Problems: Matt Butler, Spring 2010, A-
25. CE En 113 - Engineering Measurements: Dr. Reese, Spring 2008, A
26. Engl 316 - Technical Communication: Nicole Wistisen, Winter 2010, A-
27. Physics 123 - Physics II: Dave Allred, Fall 2007, B+
28. Math 214 - Multivariable Calculus: Emma Turner, Winter 2008, B+
29. CE En 351 - Environmental Engineering: Gus Williams, Winter 2009, A-
30. Chem 106 - Principles of Chem II: Dr. Herrick, Winter 2007, A
31. Psych 111 - General Psychology: Mikel(?) South, Winter 2008, A
32. Rel C 325 - Doctrine and Covenants: Randy Bott, Winter 2010, A
33. Bus M 340 - Marketing: Doug Witt, Summer 2010, A-
34. Rel A 122 - Book of Mormon: Sherrie Johnson, Winter 2008, A
35. Chem 105 - Principles of Chem I: Dr. Seger, Fall 2006, B
36. CE En 361 - Intro to Transportation Engrg: Grant Schultz, Winter 2009, B+
37. Engl 150 - Writing & Rhetoric: Sarah Jenkins, Fall 2007, B
38. CE En 470 - Senior Design (kind of): Wood Miller, Winter 2010, A-
39. Bio 100 - Principles of Biology: Sis. Jefferies (I think), Fall 2009, A-
40. Bus M 300 - Finance: Lise Crawford, Summer 2010, B+
41. Physics 121 - Physics 1: Alex Flournoy, Winter 2007, B
42. CE En 562 - Traffic Engineering: Mitsuru Saito, Fall 2009, B+
43. CE En 270 - Computational Methods: James Nelson, Fall 2008, B
44. Org B 320 - Human Resources: None Really, Summer 2010, A-
45. Math 113 - Calculus II: Don't Remember, Winter 2007, B
46. A Htg 100 - American Heritage: The Bald Guy, Fall 2007, B
47. Left 101 - That One Hippie Class: The Hippie Woman, Fall 2006, A
    
48. CE En 100A - Stupid Semenar: Michael Borup, Fall 2007, A-
49. CE En 100B - Stupid Semenar: Michael Borup, Winter 2008, C+
50. CE En 200A - Stupid Semenar: Michael Borup, Fall 2008, A-
51. CE En 200B - Stupid Semenar: Michael Borup, Winter 2009, B+
52. CE En 300A - Stupid Semenar: Michael Borup, Fall 2009, B+
53. CE En 400C - Even Stupider Semenar: Michael Borup, Winter 2010, A-
54. GYM 101 - Gym I: Don't Remember, Fall 2006, A
55. GYM 102 - Gym II: Don't Remember, Winter 2007, A
56. Pl Sc 201 - Western Political Heritage 1: Dr. Hancock, Fall 2008, B-
57. Pl Sc 202 - Western Political Heritage 2: The Canadian Guy, Winter 2009, C+
58. Math 334 - Ordinary Differential Equations: John Dallon, Fall 2008, C+
59. Math 343 - Elementary Linear Algebra: Jeff Humpherys, Fall 2007, C

Did I really take 59 classes while I was in college? In all honesty, I might have taken even more, as there might have been a class or two that I forgot about. Also, you've probably noticed that there's a nice correlation between my ranking of a class and my grade in the class, but don't get your cause and effect mixed up. For the most part, I got good grades in classes because I enjoyed them; I didn't enjoy classes because I got good grades in them. Just so you know... ;)

Annie Very Sorry

Today marks the second anniversary of the creation of this blag. As luck would have it, it's also the 100th post I've made to it. Here's a recap of things that have happened in the last 2 years and 100 blag posts in approximately chronological order.

• I bought a handgun.
• I decided to get a business minor.
• I read 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. It changed my life.
• I saw then BYU tight end Andrew George catch a walk-off touchdown pass from Max Hall to beat SpUtah in OT.
  
• I applied for over 300 full-time civil engineering jobs.
• I got 3 interviews and no formal job offers.
  
• I took and passed the Fundamentals of Engineering Exam.
• I moved into an apartment with guys who I actually liked beforehand.
  
• I went to the Utah Summer Games Ultimate Frisbee Tournament in Cedar City and accidentally attended a Single Adult dance. (Notice the lack of 'Young' at the front.)
• I went longboarding down Provo Canyon with Scott Manning and still have the scars to prove it. I pledged that I would never ride/drive anything that didn't have brakes after that.
  
• I bought and have been learning to play the bass guitar.
• I appeared in 'The Food Nanny' TV program on BYUtv.
• I graduated from BYU with a BS.
• I applied to 7 institutions of higher learning to pursue a master's degree in civil engineering.
• I was accepted by 6 of those institutions.
• I found out that I would receive funding from Oregon State University and, without hesitation, decided that I would matriculate.

As we can see, it's been a great time. I'm totally looking forward to next two years worth of Unfortunate Dudefests. :D

Shawties

Since my future for the next year, or so, has been decided, I can now turn my blagging attention back to more philosophical topics. The last 18 months of job search and grad school blagging have been solid, but definitely not the most exciting topics I've ever written about.

Recently I've been thinking about women. I've found out that my mom is ready for grandchildren and has a specific desire for Asian ones, which explains why she's been telling me my soul mate is an Asian woman for years now. Yesterday, she even started making me a profile on the scourge on human existence know as match.com. Luckily I was able to change the password on that profile and delete it before any real damage was done. I tell you this so that you can understand why I've been thinking about women and romance over the past few days. It really has nothing else to do with this post.

The point of this blag post isn't to page Dr. Freud. Rather, I want to discuss a phenomenon that I'm a part of whether I really want to be or not. A little under a year ago, I went to an Independence Day barbeque with a good friend of mine (and cutie) Hannah with one of her friends who shall remain nameless. At some point during this event the Friend of Hannah made a comment something along the lines of, "I don't think tall guys should go out with short women, because tall guys should be for tall girls, you know?" I'm sure that I'm butchering that quote, but 11 months has taken its toll on the precision of my memory. As a side note, this was pretty awkward for Hannah and I since she stands at a petite 5'1" and I come in 13 inches taller at 6'2". I don't hold anything against Hannah's friend for her commentary, but I have to say at this juncture, that I disagree.

I've always found this whole concept to be fairly shallow. If I meet the woman of my dreams who meets every criterion on The List and more, you couldn't pay me to care whether she's 4'10" or 5'10". When it comes right down to it, height is just another physical characteristic that's much less important in the long term than things like personality, mutual interests, and reciprocal charity. A woman of below average height is just as capable as a woman of average or above average height of having these intrinsic characteristics. A certain amount of physical attraction is always important to a relationship, but it is nowhere close to the most important things. The only applicable downside of going out with a more petite woman that I can think of is that the mechanics of kissing are somewhat challenging. As long as there's a step around, it shouldn't be a problem.

Adding to this conundrum is the attitude that taller women usually take toward it. Most of the taller women that I've met seem to have a little bit of an entitlement mentality when it comes to taller men. Unfortunately for them, it all comes down to simple economics. Tall men are a scarce resource that most all women want, at least to a certain degree. The scarcity of this, or any other, resource causes the price of that resource to go up. In a simple economic model the consumer with the highest willingness to pay is the one who comes out with the scarce resource. Romantic relationships can rarely be explained fully by a simple economic model, but the principle holds true. The woman who wants the tall guy more will end up with him assuming approximate equality in physical and character traits among the women. In my experience, the more petite women have been willing to pay more than they taller women and have thus often end up with them. As a footnote to this paragraph let me say that the 'price' of a tall man can include a wide variety of things and not just what you're thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter. ;)

Since I've been talking a whole lot about women who are shorter than me, you might be interested to know how I feel about women who are taller than me. Most of the men that I know would not be comfortable dating a woman who was taller than them, and even fewer women would be comfortable dating a man who's shorter than them. Let me just say that, in my life (not just adult life, but my whole life), I've only met about 5 or 6 women who were taller than me, and only one or two of those were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Just so we're clear, I'm taller than about 99.99% of American women. I'd estimate that there are about 18 women of that height who are single, active members of the church in the States. If any of those 18 women are interested in me, I will certainly reciprocate. However, in a pool of potentially millions of women, a number like 18 is something that my engineer friends would call "negligible." Basically, I'll cross that bridge if I ever come to it... which is unlikely.

So the moral of the story is that there can potentially be a wide variety of things that contribute to a man's interest in a woman, and height is almost never very high on the list. A short woman shouldn't be dissuaded from interest in a guy solely because he's significantly taller than her and tall women shouldn't take tall men for granted. As usual, this could just be me, but I think I'm pretty well-founded on this one.

Until next time, my friends.

Moregon

So, I'm in Oregon, and there are a few things that I like and a few things that I don't like.

DISLIKE

• 65-mph speed limits. Freeways are conservatively designed for 75. Speed limits on these roads should be no less than that.
• Gas stations attendants. I understand that Oregon is trying to create jobs, however, I think they should focus more on trying to create jobs for people who have the capacity to be functional members of society.
• The weather. The weather in Denver is bi-polar, but the frequency of change is only once or twice a day. Western Oregon can go from drizzle to sunny and warm to torrential downpour to profoundly hot and then back to drizzle in a matter of 2 minutes.
• The street layout in Corvallis. Like downtown Denver, none of the streets go anywhere and some of them do it in only one direction. Compounding the problem, some of the streets are so narrow that the city only allows parking on one side of the street, which makes it looks like it's a one-way street even when it's not. It took me 40 minutes and half a gallon of gasoline to find the Corvallis Institute of Religion today.
• The pronounced lack of navigational landmarks. I grew up in Denver, where the mountains denoted west. Then I moved to Provo, where the mountains denoted east. Now I'm in Corvallis, and I have no idea which direction is which. I'm literally buying a compass for when I move here in the fall.

LIKE

• The Civil Engineering program at Oregon State. I like the faculty and staff and where the program is going in the near future. I'm excited to be a part of it.
• The facilities. I toured the labs and offices with the geotechnical group leader and it looked like they had plenty of equipment and resources for grad students to use. It helps that I'll have my own office space (kind of cubicle-esque) with a computer. The undergrad labs where I'll likely be teaching soon also look pretty good.
• The aesthetics. Most of western Oregon and also the Oregon State Campus itself are very attractive. I'm not used to so many trees blocking my view of the surrounding buildings and other things, but I think I'll get used to it.
• The Institute. If you can find it, the Institute building is a nice place that's open most of the time. I haven't been to the ward yet, but it seems like there are a good number of people, most of whom are pretty cool.
• The bookstore. This might change once textbook time rolls around, but they have OSU spirit gear beyond my wildest dreams. I dislike the prices, but that's no surprise.

This isn't totally connected to the state of Oregon itself, but I found out from the geotechnical group leader during my tour of campus that each section of geotechnical engineering classes has on the order of 100 students in it, giving each lab section about 20 students each. My soil mechanics class at BYU had a maximum of 8 students in each lab section and most of them ended up with 5 or 6 in each. Needless to say, the idea of 20 students in each lab section sounds rather overwhelming.

Overall, I like Oregon and am excited to start at Oregon State in the fall. I'm glad I made this trip at this particular time. I knew that there would, most likely, be something that I wouldn't like about Corvallis (or about any city in which I could live) but I'm glad that I was able to sniff out those things now so that I can prepare to deal with them in the fall when I move.

The Final Report

So, after spending the last seven months applying to master's programs at grad schools all across the country, I have finally made my decision and will be attending Oregon State in the fall. After going through the application processes, there are some schools that I won't be attending on which my opinions have changed significantly and some that really haven't changed at all. With this post, I will be pretty much closing the book on the 'grad school' tag that I've used in many posts before (not that anyone even pays attention to those things) unless I start thinking about a Ph.D. which, I hope, will not happen for at least another 12 years, but who knows. But don't worry, I will blagging plenty about my experience in grad school under the tag 'Oregon State.'

Here's how I feel about each of the schools to which I applied:

CU Boulder - Stock: way up. - I wasn't terribly impressed with the application process to the university, but after visiting the campus and the civil engineering faculty, I was pretty much hooked. I grew up cheering for CU and it would have been really interesting going full circle and matriculating to their grad school. If they had had funding for me, I totally would have been heading to Boulder in the fall.

BYU - Stock: high as ever. - BYU will always be my alma mater, and there will always be a special place in my heart for the BYU campus and Provo. It saddens me that I will have to leave on a permanent basis.

Purdue - Stock: pretty much the same. - I was never terribly excited about the prospect of moving to West Lafayette and going to Purdue, so it didn't break my heart too much when I didn't get in. Though it was shocking, considering that I would have been an above average admit two years ago.

Virginia Tech - Stock: down slightly. - I have been, and will continue to be, impressed with the academics at Virginia Tech. They manage to produce cutting-edge research that's useful in industry as well as in the ivory tower of academia. However, I wouldn't be terribly disappointed if I never had to step foot in Blacksburg again. One of my fellow prospective grads at the geotech group visit said, "I like it here, because I think that anyone could fit in here." In a sense he's right. The students come from all different backgrounds and geographic locations and they are bonded together by a common thread: the copious consumption of alcohol. Yes, you can fit in in Blacksburg... as long as your liver sports the school colors.

UCLA - Stock: down. - My initial distaste for UCLA came from them not telling me that letters of rec had to be signed in ink until after my recommenders had already all submitted their letters. This boondoggle was, at least mostly, ameliorated when I found out that my application had actually been completed and that I had been accepted. However, with the application letter came the notification that they had no funding for me. This was followed by an email to my hypothetical adviser that went unanswered for 6 weeks and to which the response was two sentences. On the net, I'm just much less excited about UCLA than I ever was in the past.

UW - Stock: way, way down. - UW began crapping on me from the moment that I started filling out their obnoxious application and didn't finish until I filled out the last piece in a large pile of profoundly Byzantine paperwork, which told them that I would not be attending. I was absolutely shocked that the application process would be THAT terrible for a school that's not even THAT good. Oh yeah, and don't forget that tier III (the tier system is just a testament to how awful the bureaucracy really is) graduate tuition is $8,600 A QUARTER!!! Oh, and that's going up 16% each year for the next two years... which means that, by the time I finished my master's degree, I'd be paying about $11,500 A QUARTER for tuition. The list just goes on and on.

There's a good chance that I will never step on and any of the campuses in the latter 2/3 of this list (again, in one case.) If I was going to apply for a Ph.D. at some point in 12+ years, The University of Colorado at Boulder would probably be the only one of these 6 to which I would consider applying. Also, at this point, I've been reading about how profoundly weird Austin really is, so I'm not even sure I would want to go to the University of Texas at Austin. However, I'm planning on making that decision in the distant future, so I'll have plenty of chances to expand my possible list of schools from just Georgia Tech.

I've said a lot about different schools in this blag post. In all this smorgasbord of information, let's not forget that I will be going to Oregon State in the fall and that my master's degree will say, "Oregon State University" on the front. Let's go Beavers.

Edit: [On second thought, Austin might just be the best place for me. :D]

Since I've Never Actually Been There...

I got real license plates on my sweet new ride, so now I'm planning an epic road trip to Oregon at the end of this month (May 2011). This is approximately what it will look like:

Tuesday, May 24th: Leave Denver, CO at approximately 9 am. Travel west via I-70 and US-6 to Provo, UT. Party with former roommates until the wee hours of the morning.

Wednesday May 25th: Leave Provo at approximately 10 am. Travel northwest via I-15 and I-84 to Ontario, OR. Stay with Steve's parents.

Thursday May 26th: Leave Ontario at approximately 5 am. Travel west via I-84 and I-5 to Corvallis, OR. Meet with geotechnical group leader at 3 pm and school operations manager at 4pm. Attend institute D&C class at 7 pm.

Friday May 27th: Meet with EERI student branch faculty adviser at 9 am. Take Oregon State campus tour at 10 am. Lunch at Corvallis institute at 11:30 am. Tour college of engineering at 2 pm. Screw around in Corvallis.

Saturday May 28th: Screw around. Probably visit Salem and/or Eugene. Maybe go to Oregon State at Oregon baseball game in Eugene at 2 pm.

Sunday May 29th: Church at the Corvallis institute at 10:30 am. Napping.

Monday May 30th (Memorial Day): Leave Corvallis, OR at approximately 10 am. Travel east via I-5 and I-84 (and possibly I-15) to Boise, ID or Twin Falls, ID, or even Provo, UT depending on how I feel that day.

Tuesday May 31st: Leave Boise, ID/Twin Falls, ID/Provo, UT at approximately 6-7 am. Travel east via I-80 or I-70 back to Denver, CO

During this trip, I would certainly not be opposed to having a companion or two. If anyone in the Denver or Utah population corridor areas wants to accompany me on some portion of this epic adventure, let me know and we'll see what we can work out. I was planning on staying in a hotel in Corvallis and possibly in Twin Falls on the return trip. (Twin Falls is almost exactly halfway between Denver and Corvallis, in case you're wondering why I would seemingly choose that location at random.) The Rodeway inn in Corvallis has rooms available for $51 a night; and I would certainly welcome a division of that fee and a roommate. Since gas is pushing $4.00 a gallon through most of the country, I would also demand at least a little monetary compensation for the additional weight of an extra person and stuff.

This is going to be awesome.