The List

Latter-day Saints around the world are often encouraged (sometimes to their detriment) to create a list of qualities that they would look for in a spouse. I've always thought this was kind of a corny cliché, but recently I've been thinking about what kind of woman I'd like to be with for the rest of eternity... yeah, that's right, ETERNITY! Considering the nature of my 2 previous engagements, I probably should have done this sooner, but alas, here's what I've come up with. I've ranked them in approximate order of importance, but other than the pluses at the bottom, they're all pretty important.

• Sane, or in more PC terms, emotionally stable - I'd like to think here that there's a happy medium somewhere between being totally incapable of expressing emotion and thus bottling it up and wanting to kill people in their sleep (à la fiancée #2) and being so emotive that every decision you make is dominated by emotions. Maybe this is just a pipe dream. There are various other neuroses out there, but let's just say that I'd like to be with a woman who's within about 2 standard deviations of average sanity. Just about any woman who was loved by and who still has a good relationship with her parents and who hasn't been sexually assaulted/molested will be easily in this range. These are the two parameters I look at most. I look forward to your letters.
• Compassionate, Kind, Genuine, Sincere, etc. - I've met a few hardcore, two-faced b*tches in my day and I want nothing to do with that. I'd like to be with a woman who is capable of being a caring and empathetic mother and is willing to love people for who they are. All of us make mistakes and I only hope that I can find a woman who is willing to forgive when true repentance is espoused by the transgressor.
• Dedicated to the Gospel & to Christ - I really don't want to have to drag my wife (and, by extension, our children) to church kicking and screaming. While most of the women who fit well in this category would be less than interested in me, I still hold out hope. :)
• Financially Responsible - I know that most women get some strange, ethereal utility out of spending money on things that they may or may not ever use, but there are always limits. If a woman doesn't have the capacity to know how much money her family unit is bringing in and limit her spending to less than that amount, I will run away with my fingers in my ears yelling "LA LA LA LA! Can't hear you!" all the way.
• Reasonably Intelligent - My engagement with Fiancée #1 broke off 1) because we were both a little cuckoo and 2) because she was significantly less intelligent than me. Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but when there's basically no intellectual compatibility or common ground, it's just not going to work. I generally suppose that I'm about 4.5 standard deviations above average in intelligence. Even though it would eliminate a large proportion of women, I think a woman would need to be at least 1.5 standard deviations above average to be compatible.
  
• There's No Good Antonym for 'Jealous' - I'm not exclusively talking about being jealous of other women. My companion shouldn't be worried in any way about that, because engineers make great husbands. What I'm speaking of more is something I call "time jealousy." I've met a few women who are so jealous of their husbands having hobbies or friends that they whine so incessantly, their husbands give up hope of ever having a life outside of their wife. I understand that some people need quality time to feel loved, but at some point, you cross over into the realm of the first point on this list.
• Attractive - Let me just say that I'm in no way looking for a swimsuit model (because men don't generally find supermodels terribly attractive.) Attractive women are great, but at the end of the day, you have to deal with the b*tch behind the pretty face. There are really only two things that I look for. The first is a woman who's thinner than me, because let's be honest, no one is going to be happy if a wife is flabbier than her husband. I'll admit the second is weird, but I think I'm entitled to my preferences. I don't know what it is, but I like a woman a shapely chin. Yeah, it doesn't really make sense to me either, just go with it. If a woman is reasonably thin and has a nice chin, she's pretty much all that ask for in terms of looks. (I'm also a sucker for a woman with green eyes. This is in no way a prerequisite, but it would be a solid plus. :)
• Accepting of my Humor and the Frequent Lack Thereof - This kind of hearkens back to point 2, but I'd like a woman who will crack up at my witty remarks every now and then. It'd be even better if she had a few witty remarks of her own, but I make no such demands.
• Pro 2nd Amendment - I embrace an "I will have guns in my house, and if you don't like it, you can come take them from me; I'll be waiting," kind of mentality. If a woman doesn't accept guns in the house, we shouldn't get married. Luckily, this is becoming progressively easier to find.
  
• Willing to Let me Name my Firstborn Son Whatever I Please - If he was born right now, his name would be "Jimmer."

Pluses (By no means necessary, but nice nonetheless.)

• Affectionate - I like to be touched and to touch in return. If a woman shared that sentiment, it would add a lot to our relationship.
• Sports Literate - A healthy proportion of my banter comes from the world of sports, especially from the months of September to January (Football season and MLB playoffs.) If a woman could at least appreciate an occasional game, it would be really nice.
• On a Similar Level of Nerdiness - I don't necessarily want a woman who wants to talk bearing capacity failures and prestressed concrete all day, but I would like a woman who has at least a couple of things that she's mega-nerdy about. It could be biology, literature, speech anatomy, or ancient near-eastern history, but I'd like a woman that had that passion about a thing or two so that she could talk about it all day. Also, a woman who appreciated Doctor Who, anime, and the occasional video game would be nice too.

Well, that pretty much sums it up. There may have been a few things I forgot, or that are short extensions of points already mentioned, but I think that should do it for now.