Recently I've been pondering the lack of any real of meaningful communication with the opposite sex which has seemed to be an ever-present part of my life as of late. There are many fairly obvious reasons for this. One is that I see about five times as many men as women on any given day. Another is that my mother's paranoia over... virtually everything has lead to a certain distrust of people in general, but mostly of women. Yet I've found that there is a very simple set of factors which acts as a barrier between myself and any person who I'd want to meet, but most especially those of the female persuasion.
This simple barrier, is actually a combination of three even simpler concepts which form a "Perfect Storm," if you will, of communication barrier. The first element of this 1-2...3 punch is the fact that I'm part Indian (feather, not dot). It's not that women who I meet are necessarily racist in any way, but the fact that I'm part Indian gives me somewhat of a somber facial expression. I like to call it the "disapproving scowl." I have to consistently tell people that I'm indeed not angry or sad, but when I relax my face, I just look like I am. This "disapproving scowl" tends to intimidate most everyone who doesn't know me very well, but especially those of the "fairer" sex.
The second concepts operates along the same lines and has similar pretenses to the first. I think it's safe to say that I am quite large in stature. At 6'2" and 220 (or so) pounds I'm by no stretch a small person. This gives me the appearance that I could easily knock your lights out if I was so inclined... and the disapproving scowl from part 1 gives me the air of being so inclined. The combination of these two alone would be somewhat of a disadvantage, but could be easily remedied given the proper attributes.
Sadly, I do not currently possess said attributes. The primary attribute of which I am thinking is that of being outgoing. The first two obstacles would not be too difficult to overcome if the man who had them also possessed an ability to make small-talk with anyone and everyone he meets, as well as the inclination to do it. I, on the other hand, am not found in possession of such personality traits. I tend to be a fairly shy person who is slow to "warm up" to people. I also really don't respond that well to pressure. When I know that the remainder of my natural life as well as any life to be hoped for afterward is on the line, I'm not incredibly likely to perform all that well.
All this adds up to give me the air of a guy who looks big, angry, standoffish and disinterested. Anyone who knows me knows that that's not really who I am. I'm actually a really mellow and approachable guy if you'll give me the time to get to know you. I'm not entirely sure what the final solution to my dating perfect storm is, but I'm pretty sure I'll make it through to the end.
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